This post probably relates closely to my previous post, "Just Say No." Yes, yes, I'm a people pleaser. I hate for people to be mad at me or mad at each other. However, if I'm going to take control of my life I need to stop it all. I've realized that sometimes you just have to look our for number one. Actually it's what has to come first most of the time.
Initially, the thought of this made me feel overwhelmingly guilty. I've finally realized that it's nothing to feel ashamed of. If I don't start looking out for myself and my problems, they're only going to get worse and worse. Then what will I have left to offer friends or my relationship?....only more stresses and issues. In order to be able to give you must have. My problem has always been that I give too prematurely. I want to share so badly that when I have I immediately give. Then what happens? I have to turn right back around and ask for assistance. Doesn't make much sense and it's a cycle I'm sick of.
I need sleep. I need groceries. I need my bills paid on time. I need to go back to school. I need, I need, I need....these aren't wants. I'm not being selfish. In all actuality I'm being anything but selfish. I'm not in a position to be the people pleaser right now. I need all these things under control so I can give all I want to give to give to my family, friends, and boyfriend. If I want to be able to be that person who can give and be reliable I must first be a little selfish and disciplined. I can only hope those who love me will understand and try to help support this little transformation. Love you all!
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