Just Say No

     I have recently had a small revelation about myself, thanks to one of my fabulous new roommates! I give into things too easily. We were outside talking about our week and she just randomly said, "You know Helen, you don't need to give in so easily and you apologize way too much." This isn't the first time I've heard this conclusion. I guess it's the first time I've actually given it some thought though.
     I've always been a yes type of girl. "Let's go out!" My response: alright! "Can you take me (blank)?" My response: sure. Etc. I like to see people smile and I definitely like everyone to be happy. I think for the most part this could be considered a pretty good quality to have. I'm pretty easy going and as long as everyone is smiling and happy I'm completely content. However, I was recently in the position where my "yes" attitude put two important people and myself in a pretty uncomfortably situation. I had forgotten about securing a Friday night girls night with a friend. I realized I had work early the following Saturday.
    Anyways, I called my beau after work and informed him I was not planning on going out. Shocked and proud he said, "Helen are you sure you aren't going to change your mind?" I laughed and said I can resist. He had to finish up with some online poker stuff so I told him I was going over to hang out with a friend for a bit. When I got to my friend's house welcomed me with a big "wooo friday night girls night!" Whoops! Now what was I to do. My first thought was not what I wanted to do, but instead what could I do to keep both of these people happy? Long story short, we all got short tempered with each other and the more stressful things go, the more they both looked at me to make a decision on how Friday night was going to play out.
     My man finally said, "Look what do YOU want to do tonight?" Okay, okay, anyone knows that is a LOADED question from both sides. I had double booked and now whatever decision I made, in their minds, was going to be a bold statement of choosing one person over the other. Thankfully things worked out and it ended up being better for me and my man to hang out Saturday. However, I wish that I had not subjected myself to this "damned if I do, damned if I don't" standoff. Two things could have prevented my anxiety: #1 Being a little more organized with my plans. #2 Being able to simply recognize what I wanted to do and putting it out there.
     I have let my "yes, if it keeps you happy" attitude for so long that it's become hard for me to determine what I prefer sometimes. "Where do you want to eat?" My response: I don't care, you choose. "What movie do you want to see?" My response: "Didn't you say you wanted to see (blank)? Yes, I am feisty at times, and no, I'm not scared to confront people when needed. But honestly, it's about time for me to revoke my position as the people pleaser. This little girl is going to start practicing her "No's" and her "do it yourself's." No, I'm not going to turn into the super bitch....I'm just going to work on not being a push over.....at least not all the time!