Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

     I'm the type of person who is constantly trying to improve who I am. This is NOT implying that some spectacular person. I mean simply that I am not blind to my flaws and I battle with them often, openly and admittedly. However, recently as my struggles slowly begin to subside I'm gradually recognizing some of my accomplishments and attributes.
     No, I haven't had to face any insane obstacles. However, I've said it many times, and I truly believe that everyone's struggles are relative to their own personal life and experiences. A girl experiencing a high school break up can feel just as much pain as a woman going through a divorce after being married for 20 years. This isn't to say that the high school girl can't look to the older woman's experience and find a little comfort in the idea that "things could always be worse."
     Anyways, I'll try to cut back on the extra babel and move on towards my point. My point is simply this:  Although, my struggles may not be deemed "Lifetime Movie" worthy, or significant compared to what other people may have tackled in history, they have been struggles to me all the same and I'm proud to say I've had the strength to pull myself through them.
     I have definitely had help from amazing people. But, however vain this may sound, I can even give myself a nice pat on the back for those helping hands. People, unfortunately, do not just randomly help each other out. Therefore, I can assume that I have given something to my friends and people I have come into contact with to receive such support and love in return.
     My struggles (although comparable to most average 22 year old woman trying to make it on her own financially and eventually work up to sending herself back to school) are my struggles to claim. Each crack in my "plan" I have tripped over, each hurdle that was unexpectedly raised 2 inches too high, each emotional roller coaster that sent me into shock has left my soul with scars. I proudly wear these scars, because they scream things like "I made it!" "I healed!" and even "Is that all you've got?"
     Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to pull on heart strings or play the victim. I'm responsible for a BUNCH of these struggles. In some cases, I pretty much placed the obstacles directly on my path. What can I say? I learn the hard way. Sometimes I could kick myself for it but more than often, I wouldn't have it any other way.
     I've met so many people, felt so many different depths of emotion, and had to make so many positive alterations to my outlook on people and life that I can't even begin to count or list them. I don't think I would have experienced half of these things or made so many transformations if I hadn't done things the "hard way." There's something special about words of wisdom, but there's something irreplaceable about first hand knowledge and experience.


      I figured I'd list some of the words of wisdom from some people very dear to my heart that have held me accountable, and kept me motivated through my struggles the past few years.

This man to the left is the Kell to my Keenin, he's my brother and I'm his Ace. Our friendship was instantly formed after a late night trip to MacDonald's. We have each other's backs no matter what, no questions asked. Some things that he has said that have really kept me going and eased my mind have been the following....
"Yo, Ace, don't even worry about those girls. They're mistaking your kindness for weakness."
"You know whatever you decide, I have your back."
I truly consider him my brother. Unconditional love and support no matter what storm hits. He is a husband to an awesome lady, Karen, who I also immediately loved. I am super lucky he chose a woman who has welcomed our friendship with open arms. I am insanely thankful for God blessing him with a great woman, and me with a great friend. They have recently created the most precious and beautiful little angel I have ever seen, who I CANNOT wait to meet! (hint hint....come down here you two!)

This is Chelsea, I believe we met at a "Maracas" party, surprisingly enough. I think we had a 2 or 3 minute conversation before our kindred souls exchanged numbers. I couldn't pick a quote because this woman is too full of wisdom that it's hard to nail just one inspiration down. However, I will never forget the book she let me borrow, "Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of the Woman's Soul." She said, "I really think you'd get a lot out of this book." I haven't finished it yet (a year later), but it's my favorite book to find comfort and confidence in when I'm feeling down. Honestly this girl rocks and the way she lives and her smile alone is inspiration and motivation enough. Her pure heart and kindness truly radiate when she graces people with her smile....which fortunately for the rest of us is very often!

     Brittany Livingston, you flipping rock! This girl and I formed our friendship while both of us were dating the "Playas." We were both dating two of the most aggressive smooth talkers at AASU. Girls loved to make us uncomfortable and we found refuge in our mutual dislike for blatant bitchiness. We have maintained our friendship for going on three years now. Definitely another kindred spirit of mine, who can understand me at all times, through anything. I love her independent nature and she's kept me going by saying things like:
"You and I have a lot to offer, Helen. Don't settle for anyone who doesn't recognize that."
"We can do anything. We're so young!"
The display of courage she showed by moving to NY alone still amazes and inspires me. She dropped everything and moved, just because she could and had an urge. You go girl! You're as strong as you are stubborn and I hope you never ever change! Don't tolerate those mean girls, keep following your heart, and keep dancing on your journey.

Although I originally had a picture from our high school days (before we could legally drive), I figured I valued my life enough not to ask for a death wish. I felt this picture equally as appropriate considering is obviously shows our love for cheap beer and a laugh (something that bonded us even further later in life)! I think knowing that Devon would mutilate anyone who attacks me emotionally or physically is enough to lend me comfort. Knowing that a friend would charge at a small elephant (ask and you shall receive the story behind this), is all the comfort in the world I need when dealing with "bitches and hos." This is a friend since I was the young age of 8 and I don't see that fading anytime in the future. She's has a peaceful and quiet soul combined with a Joan of Ark ish strength and a love for a good time with good company and cold beer =)

This is Crystal. We are kind of in a tiff right now (kind of may be an understatement). However, it would be highly inappropriate for me to right about support and not include this feisty woman. Our personalities, which were obvious contrasts, surprisingly clung to each other dearly this summer and year. I think we shocked each other by forming such a strong bond and putting up with things that we wouldn't normally tolerate from the average Joe (good and bad). This is a girl who has overcome more than I could imagine. Her story gives me strength, her attitude keeps me straight, and her compassion shocks me. I couldn't begin to think of just one sentence to display how she has motivated me or supported me.

One cool Mama! This is Miss Rebecca Redko. Although we haven't hung out too much, every time we have hung out, there has been something comfortable and familiar. She's another woman I truly gain inspiration from just because she is who she is and lives her life the way she does. She's an independent and determined woman, and from what I've seen, an OUT OF THIS WORLD mother of a beautiful ray of sunshine. I will never forget the day she extended her hand freely to me (unknown to her, just when I needed some support). She said something along the lines of: "If you ever want to talk or anything let me know. I know we don't know each other that well but for some reason I care about you. Guess I just get good vibes." (excuse me for paraphrasing)

This is definitely my "make me smile" woman. We were absolute enemies after our first encounter or two. We had it out for each other. I guess after a while we figured "if you can't beat em join em." This may sound awful. I will never expect anyone to understand our friendship, but it's a friendship dear to my heart none the less. We are understanding and loyal and we hang out a lot. She's happy when things go good in my life and has taught me to celebrate every little accomplishment in life, even as small as making it through a workday. I have never met someone with such a beautiful zest for life. I'm proud to call her my partner in crime! May the good times keep rolling!

     This is a Spaniard who is very dear to my heart. We have been up and down and had one roller coaster ride of a relationship at times. Thankfully, at the end of it all we have always managed to make it back to a good place. (Okay, enough serious talk or he'll be mad at me). He may think my recent blogging is "goofy" (as he's mentions once or twice after every post) but I absolutely have to mention him in this one. He's been there through some of my biggest struggles. He gives me his opinion but takes me for who I am. I tend to sweat the small stuff too much and he's always there to help me sort through it and point out that things aren't that bad. He's constantly telling me "Okay Helen, what can you do to fix it." This always has a magic affect on me. It immediately forces me to take a breath and actually THINK before I react or get all in a tizzy. He keeps me positive and motivated. He is definitely one of the most genuine men I have ever met. I know once I say this he will NEVER let it go, but it amazes me that a man only 23 years old can teach me something new every day, from cooking tricks, to opening my eyes to a new way to view life. I'm super proud of him all the time. He's a great athlete, keeps up with his schoolwork, and manages to put up with ME...what more could a girl ask for? Did I mention he's pretty handsome too?

     She may kill me for posting a throwback from high school. However, just wanted to give us some props for making through four years at an all girls, private, catholic high school. This is one loyal girl who has managed to turn stressful situation after stressful situation around and push forward through life. She's an insanely loving mother of a beautiful baby girl. She seems to continue smiling through the rain which is what I love most about her. I think one of the most inspiring things she has said to me went something like the following.
     "I'm lucky to be where I am. It may not be perfect but I'm not complaining." This attitude definitely struck me. I now keep in mind where my life could have gone if I hadn't pushed through the low points. Looking at the stresses and struggles you have managed to avoid and patting yourself on the back for it is sometimes A LOT healthier than focusing on only the mistakes you have made.