What is in a true friend? This has been on my mind a lot recently because I am in a new city and currently networking and making new friends. Anyways, just thought I'd outline a few things to have a more clear grasp on the type of people I want to invest time in and surround myself by. This isn't just so I can weed out people though. I also, as anyone, could always use a reminding of the type of friend I want to be. No one is perfect and we all will make mistakes in relationships and friendships, but it's nice to have the person in mind that you are striving to be everyday.
1. Loyalty would have to be my number one quality in a friend. I think it should be the base of everything. I want to know that no matter what presents itself my friend will always strive to keep the best interest of my reputation in mind. I would never expect a friend to go agains their own opinions. I want to be secure that I will be supported even if I'm not agreed with. Something as simple as "Well in my opinion...blah blah, but I know my friend and I'm sure she has a good reason for her own opinion" is such an easy way to stay true to oneself while simultaneously having your friend's back. I am a ride or die type friend, if you wrong my friend....I will NOT be happy. Loyalty is so important to protect yourself from getting manipulated into being pitted against your own friend. I want to know that no matter what gets said my friend will defend me with great strength. It would be ideal for my friend to be so obviously a "ride or die friend" that people don't even feel comfortable saying anything negative about me in front of them.
2. Trust. Where can you go with a friendship if you can't trust what your friend is saying. I want to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that when my friend recalls an event to me that there is no manipulation involved. I want to know the facts no matter what. I don't even think this needs much more explaination....it's such a simple and obvious concept.
3. It's very important to me that my friends have a sensitive and genuine understanding of who I am. I'm willing to share and expect acceptance of what my goals are, what my weaknesses are, what I'm selfconscious about, what makes me happy, what makes me mad, what annoys me, and on and on. If my friend is going to be loyal ^ then it's important they are aware of these things. I want to know that in a social setting they won't inadvertantly put me down about something that truly affects me. Also, it's so nice to have a friend that can read a situation and assist me in avoiding things that could potentially really upset me or hurt me. I consider this being an ACTIVE friend. Not just sitting back and enjoying times together, but instead being present and aware of the moments and doing what we can to enhance our times together and make them the best times we can have.
4. No matter the distance between or lack of contact, I want to know my friend is my friend and they've signed on for the long haul. I can think of a few friends who I am so lucky to have that unfortunately I haven't been able to speak with for a while. At the end of the day, however, I know they are still there (as I am for them) and that feeling of security is amazing.
Again, we all make mistakes and I don't expect my friends to be perfect all the time. If you screw up there's the expectation that you will apologize....and not do it again. As a friend you should be forgiving and understanding. However, if the screw ups come from bad intentions then I am very quick to cut people out of my life or lose interest in being around them. I really go off of vibes from people. If I think your heart is in the right place then I'm quick to trust you and open up about almost anything to you. I try really hard to live by these expectations but I'm sure sometimes I drop the ball. I'm very quick to apologize and explain any reasonings for my screw ups. I love my friends dearly and am really looking forward to creating more friends here in my new home.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
My Mammy, Rose Smoak
Please keep my Mammy in your prayers. She has said enough prayers for others to deserve a flood of them for herself.
My Mammy is the perfect example of a strong matriarch. She is graceful, demure, caring, bold, and has an unbelievable strength you have to be around to even begin to comprehend. She is a survivor and a loyal person to God, her family, and her friends.
She survived her new husband going off to war. She became a sister/mother figure to her niece when her sister passed. She helped raised two beautiful daughters with her true love, my grandfather. She survived gallbladder cancer as a mother. She helped to raise a number of grandchildren and grand nieces. She stayed strong in a beautiful marriage for 69 (and still counting) years. A few years ago she even survived being dead for 2 minutes after fluid had built up in her lungs from congestive heart failure. At 90 years old I remember my grandmother out surviving my sister, mother and I on an all day shopping spree....WE had to tell her we were to tired to keep going!
Recently she has been going blind. I think the hardest think to witness was her discontent with just sitting back and letting us do for her. For so many years, she has done so much for her family from cooking, to giving the best advice, to just living life as a beautiful example to us all. About a week ago we had to call hospice for her. At 94 years old, she made us promise "No more hospitals." As hard as it is to hear that, we all understand and support her %100. Anything else would be selfish.
All the nurses that come in rave about how much love is around her, and how she is so lucky to be so well cared for by so many family members. What I think they don't understand is that, luck has nothing to do with the love that surrounds her. She built this support system and this love that envelopes her now with every kind word she spoke, every hug she gave, every shoulder she lent for a good cry, every time she provided heart felt advice, among all the other things she has freely given of herself over her 94 years. Naturally, she hasn't stopped providing. I was talking with her the other night about my life and my plans and how I hope to have as good of a life as she made for herself. Her response was wisdom filled and heart felt. She told me "You know when it all started going my way? When I told God that I'll live everyday the best I can and leave all the rest up to him. When you surrender your life to God, he won't let you down."
I know that experiences, friends, other family members, good times and bad times all shape who we are and who we become everyday. I also know that each person in my family is who he/she is because of who my Mammy is and how she lived each day of her life. Rose Smoak is a blessing and I'm so thankful to be a part of the family that she has been unconditionally dedicated to.
Every summer since my mother was a little girl our extended family rents a beach house on Tybee Island, in Savannah, Georgia for a week. (One of many photos taken over the years capturing that to the left) The family begins with my Mammy, my Pappy, and my Nanna and Granddaddy Jack and extends on out to all of my extended cousins on that side. Nanna and Granddaddy Jack (Bless his soul, I know he's been watching us) are really my cousins...who have been more like a second pair of grandparents. We have a surprisingly close extended family. I call a couple of my cousins Aunt and Uncle because that's how close we all are.
To the right is a picture taken at my Aunt's house of my Aunt Helen, Mammy, Pappy, Me and Stella. We were celebrating the Christmas that followed my sister's engagement to Brad Bonner, who is now a part of our family. They recently got to share some exciting news with the family and Mammy....THEY're GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!! This family just keep growing!
This picture was taken as I was reading my birthday card from Mammy. I can't even think of a birthday without anticipating getting Mammy and Pappy's present. She always carefully selects the card. She may not know it, but there is always an important message in there that I need to hear. Not to mention, they know just what to get me...money! She always said "We give you money because we want to make sure you get EXACTLY what you want."
Mammy, Me and Pappy before going to see my cousin Jordan in her ballet recital.
Mammy, Pappy, Mom, Dad and I visited Stella and Brad when they had just moved to Augusta. Outside of church after mass on a Sunday.
Stella and I out to dinner with Mammy and Pappy.
This past year Beach Week 2011. Mammy, Pappy, my cousin Riley and I out on the porch.
Mammy and I at the beauty parlor September 2011. Even at 94 she has still been making regular trips to the beauty shop!
My Mammy is the perfect example of a strong matriarch. She is graceful, demure, caring, bold, and has an unbelievable strength you have to be around to even begin to comprehend. She is a survivor and a loyal person to God, her family, and her friends.
She survived her new husband going off to war. She became a sister/mother figure to her niece when her sister passed. She helped raised two beautiful daughters with her true love, my grandfather. She survived gallbladder cancer as a mother. She helped to raise a number of grandchildren and grand nieces. She stayed strong in a beautiful marriage for 69 (and still counting) years. A few years ago she even survived being dead for 2 minutes after fluid had built up in her lungs from congestive heart failure. At 90 years old I remember my grandmother out surviving my sister, mother and I on an all day shopping spree....WE had to tell her we were to tired to keep going!
Recently she has been going blind. I think the hardest think to witness was her discontent with just sitting back and letting us do for her. For so many years, she has done so much for her family from cooking, to giving the best advice, to just living life as a beautiful example to us all. About a week ago we had to call hospice for her. At 94 years old, she made us promise "No more hospitals." As hard as it is to hear that, we all understand and support her %100. Anything else would be selfish.
All the nurses that come in rave about how much love is around her, and how she is so lucky to be so well cared for by so many family members. What I think they don't understand is that, luck has nothing to do with the love that surrounds her. She built this support system and this love that envelopes her now with every kind word she spoke, every hug she gave, every shoulder she lent for a good cry, every time she provided heart felt advice, among all the other things she has freely given of herself over her 94 years. Naturally, she hasn't stopped providing. I was talking with her the other night about my life and my plans and how I hope to have as good of a life as she made for herself. Her response was wisdom filled and heart felt. She told me "You know when it all started going my way? When I told God that I'll live everyday the best I can and leave all the rest up to him. When you surrender your life to God, he won't let you down."
I know that experiences, friends, other family members, good times and bad times all shape who we are and who we become everyday. I also know that each person in my family is who he/she is because of who my Mammy is and how she lived each day of her life. Rose Smoak is a blessing and I'm so thankful to be a part of the family that she has been unconditionally dedicated to.
To the right is a picture taken at my Aunt's house of my Aunt Helen, Mammy, Pappy, Me and Stella. We were celebrating the Christmas that followed my sister's engagement to Brad Bonner, who is now a part of our family. They recently got to share some exciting news with the family and Mammy....THEY're GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!! This family just keep growing!
This picture was taken as I was reading my birthday card from Mammy. I can't even think of a birthday without anticipating getting Mammy and Pappy's present. She always carefully selects the card. She may not know it, but there is always an important message in there that I need to hear. Not to mention, they know just what to get me...money! She always said "We give you money because we want to make sure you get EXACTLY what you want."
Mammy, Me and Pappy before going to see my cousin Jordan in her ballet recital.
Mammy, Pappy, Mom, Dad and I visited Stella and Brad when they had just moved to Augusta. Outside of church after mass on a Sunday.
Stella and I out to dinner with Mammy and Pappy.
This past year Beach Week 2011. Mammy, Pappy, my cousin Riley and I out on the porch.
Mammy and I at the beauty parlor September 2011. Even at 94 she has still been making regular trips to the beauty shop!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Back to the Basics
I have deleted a lot of my postings from my blog. No worries, friends, they're all saved somewhere else. It's not that I want to erase these memories from my life, I couldn't if I tried. I just feel, for now, it's time for Helen Patterson to get back to the basics. I have moved back to Charleston, SC to be close to family and start saving some money and go back to FINISH school. I want it over with. I have certainly had my fun and divulged in the glamorous distractions that can attract a 22 year old such as myself. This time in my life was not a waste, it was with so many lessons that just wouldn't have sunk in to my hard head any other way. I experienced things that have allowed my curious soul to finally rest. I'm ready now for the next level. I'm ready to not only be independent, but I'm ready to be financially stable. I'm ready to start making investments, not just splurging on immediate satisfaction. Awwww, how cute....Helen's growing up! Anyways, this is a struggle for my impatient and impulsive spirit. I have by no means perfected this lifestyle and it is still completely new to me. However, I stand by my earlier comment....I'm ready. It's a day by day, step by step process. Wish me luck and I will keep you updated!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Shoo Fly, Don't Bother Me
I swatted a fly with a rolled up magazine today. As I shrunk back in horror, my eyes grew big with trepidation. I immediately wanted to take back my fatal swat. There he was, smooshed all over my friend's window (sorry Natalia). It all happened so fast. I felt awful. I still feel awful. I guess this was my first fly kill in my life, or the first one I paid attention to.
I immediately thought about my fancy green fly swatter I have in my house, the one with the bright pink flower. Why make a pretty fly swatter? Is it to distract you from the smeared bug guts all over your counter, window, or wall?
I know this was a pointless post, but I was extremely disturbed by this incident today. So now, here I sit doing research on the computer with the remnants of my murder still smeared across the window (again, Sorry Natalia). His poor fly brother is still buzzing around annoying me. Don't worry little fly, I'm going to suffer through it. I couldn't stand the guilt of another fly soul on my hands.
I immediately thought about my fancy green fly swatter I have in my house, the one with the bright pink flower. Why make a pretty fly swatter? Is it to distract you from the smeared bug guts all over your counter, window, or wall?
I know this was a pointless post, but I was extremely disturbed by this incident today. So now, here I sit doing research on the computer with the remnants of my murder still smeared across the window (again, Sorry Natalia). His poor fly brother is still buzzing around annoying me. Don't worry little fly, I'm going to suffer through it. I couldn't stand the guilt of another fly soul on my hands.
Movin On Up!
Congratulations to my friend Natalia! I will never forget watching you push through school! I'm so happy that I got to be your friend for the last 3 years of your college career! What an unbelievable inspiration! What a wonderful example of dedication and perseverance! Don't ever let anyone try to put you down. Keep riding the high of this accomplishment!I don't care if it sounds boastful, if you want to mention that you earned 3 degrees in 4 years of college.....you go right ahead...you've earned the right. Girls may be jealous, and it's natural. It's what people do with that jealousy that will determine if they're worth sharing your time with. Keep doing the Natalia dance through life, it's serving you well. People will judge, make jealous digs, try to bring you to their level only to feel some sort of accomplishment of their own. Fight it, hold your head high! You are an inspiration in so many different ways to your friends. Congratulations and Good luck love!
I met Natalia outside of her last test at Armstrong Atlantic State University with balloons and champagne, naturally. We popped champagne in the parking lot and yelled obnoxiously of course. I topped it all off with pouring the champagne right in the new college grads mouth! Then we got out of there because we didn't want to get Natalia in trouble only a few days from her graduation!
Natalia and I celebrating at Macdonough's later that night! We had a rough patch for about 10 minutes but recovered quickly, as champions do! I remember walking into Macdonough's and hearing people say "Umm sweetheart, you're friend is done." My response, drink your beer she's got more party in her. A little spinach artichoke dip later, and we were blowing up karaoke! It was her night, she spent four years working hard at school....so my sentiments were "she can do whatever she liiiiike." So glad we had a great night, just have to know where to escape!
I met Natalia outside of her last test at Armstrong Atlantic State University with balloons and champagne, naturally. We popped champagne in the parking lot and yelled obnoxiously of course. I topped it all off with pouring the champagne right in the new college grads mouth! Then we got out of there because we didn't want to get Natalia in trouble only a few days from her graduation!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
My Girl's Got a Girlfriend
Hats off to you, you downtown Savannah gentlemen. You know who you are:
The men (boys rather) who scurry frantically from bar to bar searching for the night's unlucky and unsuspecting "ass" to take home.
The ones who think "hey girl come here" will ACTUALLY get you a number (well from a respectable girl).
The pigs who consider a great compliment to be phrases like the simple, "Damn" to the more descriptive, "Ohhh girl the things I could do to you!"
You've done it! You've just made two gorgeous girls (alright so I'm being vain...bite me), PRETEND to be gay for each other to avoid any further remarks from you. Yes, you are THAT annoying. We'd rather suffer rumors from those gossip girls. Yeah, those girls who also frequent downtown and take notes of any juicy, yet completely ignorant, info that they can share with anyone who is bored enough to listen.
Last Friday, my friend Rebecca and I went downtown. We were just looking to have a few drinks, dance, and chitchat about life. She lives in Florida so it's a treat when she's in town and we get to spend time together. At first is was a wonderful time. We were just enjoying savannah and bar hopping with an awesome pal, David White! You let us have our fun at the bars (I guess in a crowd we remain unapproachable). But you just couldn't let us have a nice walk and talk to our car could you? After all, that's when you strike.
Let me give you a hint for next time: If it's 3 AM and the bars have closed, but YOU still haven't managed to close a deal....go home get some rest.....practice in the mirror.....and try again tomorrow. I say this simply because if you haven't set yourself up for anything by 3AM, this means you OBVIOUSLY will not be closing the deal with any good looking (not drugged or trashed) girl who is just trying to make it to her car.
This is why you may or may not have seen my friend Rebecca and I telling random men on the street we were in a relationship, or have seen us holding hands, or attempting a fake make-out to prove our lesbian love for each other. Sadly the truth is that if YOU were all we had to chose from, well... we probably would date each other.
I'll end on some advice for you:
- Introducing yourself is good
- Starting a conversation with "Can I get your number" is bad (STALKER)
- "Wow you girls are gorgeous" is good. However, don't expect me to jump in your car over that...and if you don't get more than a smile and a "Thank you" DO NOT resort to calling me names. Instead, be smart. Walk away with a good attitude, if I see you next time I may be more open to talking to you.
- Any reference to sex is bad!!!! Any good looking girl, worth anything, isn't worried about finding sex or a relationship...so don't make that your number one attribute.
- Grabbing a girl is bad. Ummmm who are you? And what makes you think you can touch me?....ever...
- Humping me from behind while I'm dancing with my friend is bad. Again if I wanted that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be wasting my time on a dance floor....also it's very dangerous for you....we've been known to throw drinks and kick.
There are so many more tips, but If you start with these I'm sure it'll help you steer clear of the nasty girl snags and the smacks in the face. Unless you want a less than desirable girl. If that IS all you're looking for then please learn what they look like. They're the ones showing their underwear, falling over drunk, and slurring the words "I love you," "take me home" and "I'm gonna be sick" all at once. NOT MY FRIEND OR I.
I must say....we would make a pretty hot couple though =)
Rebecca and I (Seed Lounge)
The men (boys rather) who scurry frantically from bar to bar searching for the night's unlucky and unsuspecting "ass" to take home.
The ones who think "hey girl come here" will ACTUALLY get you a number (well from a respectable girl).
The pigs who consider a great compliment to be phrases like the simple, "Damn" to the more descriptive, "Ohhh girl the things I could do to you!"
You've done it! You've just made two gorgeous girls (alright so I'm being vain...bite me), PRETEND to be gay for each other to avoid any further remarks from you. Yes, you are THAT annoying. We'd rather suffer rumors from those gossip girls. Yeah, those girls who also frequent downtown and take notes of any juicy, yet completely ignorant, info that they can share with anyone who is bored enough to listen.
Last Friday, my friend Rebecca and I went downtown. We were just looking to have a few drinks, dance, and chitchat about life. She lives in Florida so it's a treat when she's in town and we get to spend time together. At first is was a wonderful time. We were just enjoying savannah and bar hopping with an awesome pal, David White! You let us have our fun at the bars (I guess in a crowd we remain unapproachable). But you just couldn't let us have a nice walk and talk to our car could you? After all, that's when you strike.
Let me give you a hint for next time: If it's 3 AM and the bars have closed, but YOU still haven't managed to close a deal....go home get some rest.....practice in the mirror.....and try again tomorrow. I say this simply because if you haven't set yourself up for anything by 3AM, this means you OBVIOUSLY will not be closing the deal with any good looking (not drugged or trashed) girl who is just trying to make it to her car.
This is why you may or may not have seen my friend Rebecca and I telling random men on the street we were in a relationship, or have seen us holding hands, or attempting a fake make-out to prove our lesbian love for each other. Sadly the truth is that if YOU were all we had to chose from, well... we probably would date each other.
I'll end on some advice for you:
- Introducing yourself is good
- Starting a conversation with "Can I get your number" is bad (STALKER)
- "Wow you girls are gorgeous" is good. However, don't expect me to jump in your car over that...and if you don't get more than a smile and a "Thank you" DO NOT resort to calling me names. Instead, be smart. Walk away with a good attitude, if I see you next time I may be more open to talking to you.
- Any reference to sex is bad!!!! Any good looking girl, worth anything, isn't worried about finding sex or a relationship...so don't make that your number one attribute.
- Grabbing a girl is bad. Ummmm who are you? And what makes you think you can touch me?....ever...
- Humping me from behind while I'm dancing with my friend is bad. Again if I wanted that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be wasting my time on a dance floor....also it's very dangerous for you....we've been known to throw drinks and kick.
There are so many more tips, but If you start with these I'm sure it'll help you steer clear of the nasty girl snags and the smacks in the face. Unless you want a less than desirable girl. If that IS all you're looking for then please learn what they look like. They're the ones showing their underwear, falling over drunk, and slurring the words "I love you," "take me home" and "I'm gonna be sick" all at once. NOT MY FRIEND OR I.
I must say....we would make a pretty hot couple though =)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Spirit in the Sky
I think the first thing that went through my head is deep regret for not calling or visiting closer to these two family members deaths. It's a horrible feeling that mixes with the sorrow for the other family members as well as the sadness of your personal loss. Losing these two family members in less than two weeks of each other has made me realize there is no excuse for losing contact with the ones you love. You never know what's around the corner. I'm going to try my hardest to soak up the good times with my family from this point on. I miss my Papa and my Aunt Patty so much but I know they are watching over all of their loved ones.
My Papa! What a character. Anytime I would call him I looked forward to our usual banter. "Are you keeping your parents in check?" My reply: "Papa you know that's impossible, didn't you try that for 20 years with my dad...and you didn't even have Mom to worry about!" Okay....doesn't seem that funny, but it was to us. I will never forget is love for a good laugh. It seemed visits to Papa's house meant hearing a hundred new jokes, and hearing a hundred new stories about my dad and his two brothers or my grandmother (who passed away a few years ago as well). I remember our family trips to Myrtle Beach and various other places. I will always appreciate those trips and vacations that were made even when he wasn't feeling in tip top shape. He had such a unique relationship with all of his grandchildren, all of his sons, and all of his daughter in-laws. He attended church regularly, was a war veteran, and a family man. I miss my Papa and he was one of the wonderful men in my life who open my eyes to the type of man I want to end up with for myself. Devoted to his family until the end, he lead and shared a full beautiful life and I'm so glad to have had such a wonderful Grandpa. Rest in Peace Papa.
I loved my Aunt Patty. She was actually my cousin.... that's what having a close knit extended family will do to you. Her organization is still something that inspires me! Her kind words will always be with me. I think the memory that has kept replaying in my mind of my Aunt Patty was last summer when she asked me what my plans were right now with work and school. I normally dread this question at family gatherings, because, as you can tell from my previous blogs, I'm not where I want to be in life right now. However, Aunt Patty seemed to ask in such a gentle way and so I opened up. I didn't give my usual, "Oh just working and trying to go back to school." I truly opened up about my plans (at the time) to continue working for Coach Wayne Gymnastics and hopefully soon be able to run one of his new "home base" gyms that he plans to open up in another state. I remember how wonderful it felt to have her look at me and smile and say well it's always good to do something you're passionate about, and you've always loved gymnastics (I'm sure I'm paraphrasing, but it was something along those supportive lines). She fought a good fight against cancer, raised two wonderful daughters, and touched every life she came into contact with. The way she cared for others on such an individual level will inspire me forever. Rest in Peace Aunt Patty.
My Papa! What a character. Anytime I would call him I looked forward to our usual banter. "Are you keeping your parents in check?" My reply: "Papa you know that's impossible, didn't you try that for 20 years with my dad...and you didn't even have Mom to worry about!" Okay....doesn't seem that funny, but it was to us. I will never forget is love for a good laugh. It seemed visits to Papa's house meant hearing a hundred new jokes, and hearing a hundred new stories about my dad and his two brothers or my grandmother (who passed away a few years ago as well). I remember our family trips to Myrtle Beach and various other places. I will always appreciate those trips and vacations that were made even when he wasn't feeling in tip top shape. He had such a unique relationship with all of his grandchildren, all of his sons, and all of his daughter in-laws. He attended church regularly, was a war veteran, and a family man. I miss my Papa and he was one of the wonderful men in my life who open my eyes to the type of man I want to end up with for myself. Devoted to his family until the end, he lead and shared a full beautiful life and I'm so glad to have had such a wonderful Grandpa. Rest in Peace Papa.
Papa and I in Myrtle Beach. 2006 Patterson Family Vacation.
I loved my Aunt Patty. She was actually my cousin.... that's what having a close knit extended family will do to you. Her organization is still something that inspires me! Her kind words will always be with me. I think the memory that has kept replaying in my mind of my Aunt Patty was last summer when she asked me what my plans were right now with work and school. I normally dread this question at family gatherings, because, as you can tell from my previous blogs, I'm not where I want to be in life right now. However, Aunt Patty seemed to ask in such a gentle way and so I opened up. I didn't give my usual, "Oh just working and trying to go back to school." I truly opened up about my plans (at the time) to continue working for Coach Wayne Gymnastics and hopefully soon be able to run one of his new "home base" gyms that he plans to open up in another state. I remember how wonderful it felt to have her look at me and smile and say well it's always good to do something you're passionate about, and you've always loved gymnastics (I'm sure I'm paraphrasing, but it was something along those supportive lines). She fought a good fight against cancer, raised two wonderful daughters, and touched every life she came into contact with. The way she cared for others on such an individual level will inspire me forever. Rest in Peace Aunt Patty.
From right all the way around the table: Aunt Patty, her two daughters Kelly and Julie, her two nieces (true nieces) Ashley and Krista, her sister in-law (more like sisters) Marie, brother-in-law Billy and husband Pat. This family was/is very tight knit, strong, and beautiful!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Poor Unfortunate Souls
Yes, yes, I used to be "that girl" in high school. I wasn't socially awkward or categorized as "unpopular." I had plenty of friends, but I was an easy target for those suffering with hidden insecurities. I was the perfect person to transfer pain to, because I gave them instant gratification paid in full. I was easily hurt by digs and the catty game...and showed it clear as day all over my face. Now? Not so much.
I know who I am. Even through my struggles I still manage to enjoy everyday...a lot. I have my insecurities, like any woman. However, I know who I am, and I'm pretty damn content with myself. Not in a cocky way. I mean I think it's pretty sweet to be able to say "If I were you, I'd want to be my friend." If you don't think you deserve that then why are you making your friends suffer?....Be a hermit if you think you suck that bad, R.I.P. Led, Zeppelin, and Marley (See "My Friend Gave me Crabs" to get this reference). Anyways, enough self love, back to the topic.
Listen up ladies who specialize in condescending remarks, bitchy digs, and patronizing sarcasm. You're sad. The only thing your comments do is bring even more attention to me and away from you. Since I do know who I am, I have no fear of the attention or gossip.
I'm a veteran of surviving rumors and shit talk. You'd be surprised how fast things get corrected and blow over when I sit back and let you do all the talking. My actions always defend me and force people to eventually see the truth. Unfortunately for you, your talking just starts to annoy people.
You can't make me feel insecure either. Making sure to let me know that you are taking a dig at me only brings to my attention that you feel I'm someone you want to "take down a notch." I've gone through all sorts of different types of reactions to these situations. I've felt bad about myself (at a younger age). I've given you a huge reaction or tried to make a dig back at you. I've felt bad for you and tried things like downplaying an outfit, or keeping quiet a little more. I've gone out of my way to compliment you and point out your attributes.
All of these have been failing options. So now I play dumb. It doesn't waste my time. It doesn't annoy other people with petty drama. And yes, it still may even leave you with a little hope that somewhere in my confidence you have made an impact. I've never understood how trying to hurt other people can make someone feel better about themselves. I find much more happiness in being responsible for the smiles around me and the confidence emitting from my friends or any random person who's company I'm in. However, I feel bad for those damaged to the point of needing to see pain in others. I guess do what you have to do to face yourself everyday and hopefully one day you'll see your own beauty (inner and outer) and find refuge in that instead.
I know who I am. Even through my struggles I still manage to enjoy everyday...a lot. I have my insecurities, like any woman. However, I know who I am, and I'm pretty damn content with myself. Not in a cocky way. I mean I think it's pretty sweet to be able to say "If I were you, I'd want to be my friend." If you don't think you deserve that then why are you making your friends suffer?....Be a hermit if you think you suck that bad, R.I.P. Led, Zeppelin, and Marley (See "My Friend Gave me Crabs" to get this reference). Anyways, enough self love, back to the topic.
Listen up ladies who specialize in condescending remarks, bitchy digs, and patronizing sarcasm. You're sad. The only thing your comments do is bring even more attention to me and away from you. Since I do know who I am, I have no fear of the attention or gossip.
I'm a veteran of surviving rumors and shit talk. You'd be surprised how fast things get corrected and blow over when I sit back and let you do all the talking. My actions always defend me and force people to eventually see the truth. Unfortunately for you, your talking just starts to annoy people.
You can't make me feel insecure either. Making sure to let me know that you are taking a dig at me only brings to my attention that you feel I'm someone you want to "take down a notch." I've gone through all sorts of different types of reactions to these situations. I've felt bad about myself (at a younger age). I've given you a huge reaction or tried to make a dig back at you. I've felt bad for you and tried things like downplaying an outfit, or keeping quiet a little more. I've gone out of my way to compliment you and point out your attributes.
All of these have been failing options. So now I play dumb. It doesn't waste my time. It doesn't annoy other people with petty drama. And yes, it still may even leave you with a little hope that somewhere in my confidence you have made an impact. I've never understood how trying to hurt other people can make someone feel better about themselves. I find much more happiness in being responsible for the smiles around me and the confidence emitting from my friends or any random person who's company I'm in. However, I feel bad for those damaged to the point of needing to see pain in others. I guess do what you have to do to face yourself everyday and hopefully one day you'll see your own beauty (inner and outer) and find refuge in that instead.
Friday, February 25, 2011
The tide is high but I'm holding on, I'm gonna be MY number one
This post probably relates closely to my previous post, "Just Say No." Yes, yes, I'm a people pleaser. I hate for people to be mad at me or mad at each other. However, if I'm going to take control of my life I need to stop it all. I've realized that sometimes you just have to look our for number one. Actually it's what has to come first most of the time.
Initially, the thought of this made me feel overwhelmingly guilty. I've finally realized that it's nothing to feel ashamed of. If I don't start looking out for myself and my problems, they're only going to get worse and worse. Then what will I have left to offer friends or my relationship?....only more stresses and issues. In order to be able to give you must have. My problem has always been that I give too prematurely. I want to share so badly that when I have I immediately give. Then what happens? I have to turn right back around and ask for assistance. Doesn't make much sense and it's a cycle I'm sick of.
I need sleep. I need groceries. I need my bills paid on time. I need to go back to school. I need, I need, I need....these aren't wants. I'm not being selfish. In all actuality I'm being anything but selfish. I'm not in a position to be the people pleaser right now. I need all these things under control so I can give all I want to give to give to my family, friends, and boyfriend. If I want to be able to be that person who can give and be reliable I must first be a little selfish and disciplined. I can only hope those who love me will understand and try to help support this little transformation. Love you all!
Initially, the thought of this made me feel overwhelmingly guilty. I've finally realized that it's nothing to feel ashamed of. If I don't start looking out for myself and my problems, they're only going to get worse and worse. Then what will I have left to offer friends or my relationship?....only more stresses and issues. In order to be able to give you must have. My problem has always been that I give too prematurely. I want to share so badly that when I have I immediately give. Then what happens? I have to turn right back around and ask for assistance. Doesn't make much sense and it's a cycle I'm sick of.
I need sleep. I need groceries. I need my bills paid on time. I need to go back to school. I need, I need, I need....these aren't wants. I'm not being selfish. In all actuality I'm being anything but selfish. I'm not in a position to be the people pleaser right now. I need all these things under control so I can give all I want to give to give to my family, friends, and boyfriend. If I want to be able to be that person who can give and be reliable I must first be a little selfish and disciplined. I can only hope those who love me will understand and try to help support this little transformation. Love you all!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Just Say No
I have recently had a small revelation about myself, thanks to one of my fabulous new roommates! I give into things too easily. We were outside talking about our week and she just randomly said, "You know Helen, you don't need to give in so easily and you apologize way too much." This isn't the first time I've heard this conclusion. I guess it's the first time I've actually given it some thought though.
I've always been a yes type of girl. "Let's go out!" My response: alright! "Can you take me (blank)?" My response: sure. Etc. I like to see people smile and I definitely like everyone to be happy. I think for the most part this could be considered a pretty good quality to have. I'm pretty easy going and as long as everyone is smiling and happy I'm completely content. However, I was recently in the position where my "yes" attitude put two important people and myself in a pretty uncomfortably situation. I had forgotten about securing a Friday night girls night with a friend. I realized I had work early the following Saturday.
Anyways, I called my beau after work and informed him I was not planning on going out. Shocked and proud he said, "Helen are you sure you aren't going to change your mind?" I laughed and said I can resist. He had to finish up with some online poker stuff so I told him I was going over to hang out with a friend for a bit. When I got to my friend's house welcomed me with a big "wooo friday night girls night!" Whoops! Now what was I to do. My first thought was not what I wanted to do, but instead what could I do to keep both of these people happy? Long story short, we all got short tempered with each other and the more stressful things go, the more they both looked at me to make a decision on how Friday night was going to play out.
My man finally said, "Look what do YOU want to do tonight?" Okay, okay, anyone knows that is a LOADED question from both sides. I had double booked and now whatever decision I made, in their minds, was going to be a bold statement of choosing one person over the other. Thankfully things worked out and it ended up being better for me and my man to hang out Saturday. However, I wish that I had not subjected myself to this "damned if I do, damned if I don't" standoff. Two things could have prevented my anxiety: #1 Being a little more organized with my plans. #2 Being able to simply recognize what I wanted to do and putting it out there.
I have let my "yes, if it keeps you happy" attitude for so long that it's become hard for me to determine what I prefer sometimes. "Where do you want to eat?" My response: I don't care, you choose. "What movie do you want to see?" My response: "Didn't you say you wanted to see (blank)? Yes, I am feisty at times, and no, I'm not scared to confront people when needed. But honestly, it's about time for me to revoke my position as the people pleaser. This little girl is going to start practicing her "No's" and her "do it yourself's." No, I'm not going to turn into the super bitch....I'm just going to work on not being a push over.....at least not all the time!
I've always been a yes type of girl. "Let's go out!" My response: alright! "Can you take me (blank)?" My response: sure. Etc. I like to see people smile and I definitely like everyone to be happy. I think for the most part this could be considered a pretty good quality to have. I'm pretty easy going and as long as everyone is smiling and happy I'm completely content. However, I was recently in the position where my "yes" attitude put two important people and myself in a pretty uncomfortably situation. I had forgotten about securing a Friday night girls night with a friend. I realized I had work early the following Saturday.
Anyways, I called my beau after work and informed him I was not planning on going out. Shocked and proud he said, "Helen are you sure you aren't going to change your mind?" I laughed and said I can resist. He had to finish up with some online poker stuff so I told him I was going over to hang out with a friend for a bit. When I got to my friend's house welcomed me with a big "wooo friday night girls night!" Whoops! Now what was I to do. My first thought was not what I wanted to do, but instead what could I do to keep both of these people happy? Long story short, we all got short tempered with each other and the more stressful things go, the more they both looked at me to make a decision on how Friday night was going to play out.
My man finally said, "Look what do YOU want to do tonight?" Okay, okay, anyone knows that is a LOADED question from both sides. I had double booked and now whatever decision I made, in their minds, was going to be a bold statement of choosing one person over the other. Thankfully things worked out and it ended up being better for me and my man to hang out Saturday. However, I wish that I had not subjected myself to this "damned if I do, damned if I don't" standoff. Two things could have prevented my anxiety: #1 Being a little more organized with my plans. #2 Being able to simply recognize what I wanted to do and putting it out there.
I have let my "yes, if it keeps you happy" attitude for so long that it's become hard for me to determine what I prefer sometimes. "Where do you want to eat?" My response: I don't care, you choose. "What movie do you want to see?" My response: "Didn't you say you wanted to see (blank)? Yes, I am feisty at times, and no, I'm not scared to confront people when needed. But honestly, it's about time for me to revoke my position as the people pleaser. This little girl is going to start practicing her "No's" and her "do it yourself's." No, I'm not going to turn into the super bitch....I'm just going to work on not being a push over.....at least not all the time!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Get By With a Little Help From My Friends
I'm the type of person who is constantly trying to improve who I am. This is NOT implying that some spectacular person. I mean simply that I am not blind to my flaws and I battle with them often, openly and admittedly. However, recently as my struggles slowly begin to subside I'm gradually recognizing some of my accomplishments and attributes.
No, I haven't had to face any insane obstacles. However, I've said it many times, and I truly believe that everyone's struggles are relative to their own personal life and experiences. A girl experiencing a high school break up can feel just as much pain as a woman going through a divorce after being married for 20 years. This isn't to say that the high school girl can't look to the older woman's experience and find a little comfort in the idea that "things could always be worse."
Anyways, I'll try to cut back on the extra babel and move on towards my point. My point is simply this: Although, my struggles may not be deemed "Lifetime Movie" worthy, or significant compared to what other people may have tackled in history, they have been struggles to me all the same and I'm proud to say I've had the strength to pull myself through them.
I have definitely had help from amazing people. But, however vain this may sound, I can even give myself a nice pat on the back for those helping hands. People, unfortunately, do not just randomly help each other out. Therefore, I can assume that I have given something to my friends and people I have come into contact with to receive such support and love in return.
My struggles (although comparable to most average 22 year old woman trying to make it on her own financially and eventually work up to sending herself back to school) are my struggles to claim. Each crack in my "plan" I have tripped over, each hurdle that was unexpectedly raised 2 inches too high, each emotional roller coaster that sent me into shock has left my soul with scars. I proudly wear these scars, because they scream things like "I made it!" "I healed!" and even "Is that all you've got?"
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to pull on heart strings or play the victim. I'm responsible for a BUNCH of these struggles. In some cases, I pretty much placed the obstacles directly on my path. What can I say? I learn the hard way. Sometimes I could kick myself for it but more than often, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I've met so many people, felt so many different depths of emotion, and had to make so many positive alterations to my outlook on people and life that I can't even begin to count or list them. I don't think I would have experienced half of these things or made so many transformations if I hadn't done things the "hard way." There's something special about words of wisdom, but there's something irreplaceable about first hand knowledge and experience.
I figured I'd list some of the words of wisdom from some people very dear to my heart that have held me accountable, and kept me motivated through my struggles the past few years.
This man to the left is the Kell to my Keenin, he's my brother and I'm his Ace. Our friendship was instantly formed after a late night trip to MacDonald's. We have each other's backs no matter what, no questions asked. Some things that he has said that have really kept me going and eased my mind have been the following....
"Yo, Ace, don't even worry about those girls. They're mistaking your kindness for weakness."
"You know whatever you decide, I have your back."
I truly consider him my brother. Unconditional love and support no matter what storm hits. He is a husband to an awesome lady, Karen, who I also immediately loved. I am super lucky he chose a woman who has welcomed our friendship with open arms. I am insanely thankful for God blessing him with a great woman, and me with a great friend. They have recently created the most precious and beautiful little angel I have ever seen, who I CANNOT wait to meet! (hint hint....come down here you two!)
This is Chelsea, I believe we met at a "Maracas" party, surprisingly enough. I think we had a 2 or 3 minute conversation before our kindred souls exchanged numbers. I couldn't pick a quote because this woman is too full of wisdom that it's hard to nail just one inspiration down. However, I will never forget the book she let me borrow, "Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of the Woman's Soul." She said, "I really think you'd get a lot out of this book." I haven't finished it yet (a year later), but it's my favorite book to find comfort and confidence in when I'm feeling down. Honestly this girl rocks and the way she lives and her smile alone is inspiration and motivation enough. Her pure heart and kindness truly radiate when she graces people with her smile....which fortunately for the rest of us is very often!
Brittany Livingston, you flipping rock! This girl and I formed our friendship while both of us were dating the "Playas." We were both dating two of the most aggressive smooth talkers at AASU. Girls loved to make us uncomfortable and we found refuge in our mutual dislike for blatant bitchiness. We have maintained our friendship for going on three years now. Definitely another kindred spirit of mine, who can understand me at all times, through anything. I love her independent nature and she's kept me going by saying things like:
"You and I have a lot to offer, Helen. Don't settle for anyone who doesn't recognize that."
"We can do anything. We're so young!"
The display of courage she showed by moving to NY alone still amazes and inspires me. She dropped everything and moved, just because she could and had an urge. You go girl! You're as strong as you are stubborn and I hope you never ever change! Don't tolerate those mean girls, keep following your heart, and keep dancing on your journey.
Although I originally had a picture from our high school days (before we could legally drive), I figured I valued my life enough not to ask for a death wish. I felt this picture equally as appropriate considering is obviously shows our love for cheap beer and a laugh (something that bonded us even further later in life)! I think knowing that Devon would mutilate anyone who attacks me emotionally or physically is enough to lend me comfort. Knowing that a friend would charge at a small elephant (ask and you shall receive the story behind this), is all the comfort in the world I need when dealing with "bitches and hos." This is a friend since I was the young age of 8 and I don't see that fading anytime in the future. She's has a peaceful and quiet soul combined with a Joan of Ark ish strength and a love for a good time with good company and cold beer =)
This is Crystal. We are kind of in a tiff right now (kind of may be an understatement). However, it would be highly inappropriate for me to right about support and not include this feisty woman. Our personalities, which were obvious contrasts, surprisingly clung to each other dearly this summer and year. I think we shocked each other by forming such a strong bond and putting up with things that we wouldn't normally tolerate from the average Joe (good and bad). This is a girl who has overcome more than I could imagine. Her story gives me strength, her attitude keeps me straight, and her compassion shocks me. I couldn't begin to think of just one sentence to display how she has motivated me or supported me.
This is definitely my "make me smile" woman. We were absolute enemies after our first encounter or two. We had it out for each other. I guess after a while we figured "if you can't beat em join em." This may sound awful. I will never expect anyone to understand our friendship, but it's a friendship dear to my heart none the less. We are understanding and loyal and we hang out a lot. She's happy when things go good in my life and has taught me to celebrate every little accomplishment in life, even as small as making it through a workday. I have never met someone with such a beautiful zest for life. I'm proud to call her my partner in crime! May the good times keep rolling!
This is a Spaniard who is very dear to my heart. We have been up and down and had one roller coaster ride of a relationship at times. Thankfully, at the end of it all we have always managed to make it back to a good place. (Okay, enough serious talk or he'll be mad at me). He may think my recent blogging is "goofy" (as he's mentions once or twice after every post) but I absolutely have to mention him in this one. He's been there through some of my biggest struggles. He gives me his opinion but takes me for who I am. I tend to sweat the small stuff too much and he's always there to help me sort through it and point out that things aren't that bad. He's constantly telling me "Okay Helen, what can you do to fix it." This always has a magic affect on me. It immediately forces me to take a breath and actually THINK before I react or get all in a tizzy. He keeps me positive and motivated. He is definitely one of the most genuine men I have ever met. I know once I say this he will NEVER let it go, but it amazes me that a man only 23 years old can teach me something new every day, from cooking tricks, to opening my eyes to a new way to view life. I'm super proud of him all the time. He's a great athlete, keeps up with his schoolwork, and manages to put up with ME...what more could a girl ask for? Did I mention he's pretty handsome too?
She may kill me for posting a throwback from high school. However, just wanted to give us some props for making through four years at an all girls, private, catholic high school. This is one loyal girl who has managed to turn stressful situation after stressful situation around and push forward through life. She's an insanely loving mother of a beautiful baby girl. She seems to continue smiling through the rain which is what I love most about her. I think one of the most inspiring things she has said to me went something like the following.
"I'm lucky to be where I am. It may not be perfect but I'm not complaining." This attitude definitely struck me. I now keep in mind where my life could have gone if I hadn't pushed through the low points. Looking at the stresses and struggles you have managed to avoid and patting yourself on the back for it is sometimes A LOT healthier than focusing on only the mistakes you have made.
No, I haven't had to face any insane obstacles. However, I've said it many times, and I truly believe that everyone's struggles are relative to their own personal life and experiences. A girl experiencing a high school break up can feel just as much pain as a woman going through a divorce after being married for 20 years. This isn't to say that the high school girl can't look to the older woman's experience and find a little comfort in the idea that "things could always be worse."
Anyways, I'll try to cut back on the extra babel and move on towards my point. My point is simply this: Although, my struggles may not be deemed "Lifetime Movie" worthy, or significant compared to what other people may have tackled in history, they have been struggles to me all the same and I'm proud to say I've had the strength to pull myself through them.
I have definitely had help from amazing people. But, however vain this may sound, I can even give myself a nice pat on the back for those helping hands. People, unfortunately, do not just randomly help each other out. Therefore, I can assume that I have given something to my friends and people I have come into contact with to receive such support and love in return.
My struggles (although comparable to most average 22 year old woman trying to make it on her own financially and eventually work up to sending herself back to school) are my struggles to claim. Each crack in my "plan" I have tripped over, each hurdle that was unexpectedly raised 2 inches too high, each emotional roller coaster that sent me into shock has left my soul with scars. I proudly wear these scars, because they scream things like "I made it!" "I healed!" and even "Is that all you've got?"
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to pull on heart strings or play the victim. I'm responsible for a BUNCH of these struggles. In some cases, I pretty much placed the obstacles directly on my path. What can I say? I learn the hard way. Sometimes I could kick myself for it but more than often, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I've met so many people, felt so many different depths of emotion, and had to make so many positive alterations to my outlook on people and life that I can't even begin to count or list them. I don't think I would have experienced half of these things or made so many transformations if I hadn't done things the "hard way." There's something special about words of wisdom, but there's something irreplaceable about first hand knowledge and experience.
I figured I'd list some of the words of wisdom from some people very dear to my heart that have held me accountable, and kept me motivated through my struggles the past few years.
"Yo, Ace, don't even worry about those girls. They're mistaking your kindness for weakness."
"You know whatever you decide, I have your back."
I truly consider him my brother. Unconditional love and support no matter what storm hits. He is a husband to an awesome lady, Karen, who I also immediately loved. I am super lucky he chose a woman who has welcomed our friendship with open arms. I am insanely thankful for God blessing him with a great woman, and me with a great friend. They have recently created the most precious and beautiful little angel I have ever seen, who I CANNOT wait to meet! (hint hint....come down here you two!)
"You and I have a lot to offer, Helen. Don't settle for anyone who doesn't recognize that."
"We can do anything. We're so young!"
The display of courage she showed by moving to NY alone still amazes and inspires me. She dropped everything and moved, just because she could and had an urge. You go girl! You're as strong as you are stubborn and I hope you never ever change! Don't tolerate those mean girls, keep following your heart, and keep dancing on your journey.
This is Crystal. We are kind of in a tiff right now (kind of may be an understatement). However, it would be highly inappropriate for me to right about support and not include this feisty woman. Our personalities, which were obvious contrasts, surprisingly clung to each other dearly this summer and year. I think we shocked each other by forming such a strong bond and putting up with things that we wouldn't normally tolerate from the average Joe (good and bad). This is a girl who has overcome more than I could imagine. Her story gives me strength, her attitude keeps me straight, and her compassion shocks me. I couldn't begin to think of just one sentence to display how she has motivated me or supported me.
One cool Mama! This is Miss Rebecca Redko. Although we haven't hung out too much, every time we have hung out, there has been something comfortable and familiar. She's another woman I truly gain inspiration from just because she is who she is and lives her life the way she does. She's an independent and determined woman, and from what I've seen, an OUT OF THIS WORLD mother of a beautiful ray of sunshine. I will never forget the day she extended her hand freely to me (unknown to her, just when I needed some support). She said something along the lines of: "If you ever want to talk or anything let me know. I know we don't know each other that well but for some reason I care about you. Guess I just get good vibes." (excuse me for paraphrasing)
"I'm lucky to be where I am. It may not be perfect but I'm not complaining." This attitude definitely struck me. I now keep in mind where my life could have gone if I hadn't pushed through the low points. Looking at the stresses and struggles you have managed to avoid and patting yourself on the back for it is sometimes A LOT healthier than focusing on only the mistakes you have made.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Drop it low girl, drop it, drop it low
Last night was one of those nights that is embarrassing now, but in 2 or 3 years I'll have a good laugh with my friend........Okay who am I kidding? Last night was hilarious and I know it! My friend, Natalia , texted me some excited news that triggered our whole celebratory evening. "I got the house =D". (that equals sign and capital d is the smiley that let me knew she was ready to party). I could not wait to get off work to congratulate my home owning friend.
We popped a bottle of wine as we decided what to wear. Danced around the apartment, even had somewhat of a wrestling match over Natalia insisting to take a nap. A NAP? On HER night? No fear, I was there to rescue her from that dreadful idea. After shaking her, dumping her off the bed, and playing air guitar with her leg to the blaring song "I believe In a Thing Called Love" she finally agreed....a nap just was not an option. So we did what we had to do (in case you aren't aware, that means we popped another bottle of wine and called our cabby).
Hooray! Our cab driver arrived. As we took one last look in the mirror I realized how much more functional Natalia's outfit was than mine. "Shoot, I should wear jeans if we're going to be dancing tonight, plus it's a Wednesday...Why am in a dress?" Natalia knew what that meant....ANOTHER wardrobe change. She decided to assist me, "Those white jeans looked really cute the other night....wear those and lets go!" I quickly changed, and out the door we went.
We met our friend Jordan (a.k.a Jodie) at Jazz'd (the sweetest tapas bar in Savannah) and had ourselves a bloody mary. It's always a good time when the 3 Musketeers are hanging out. We had some pretty entertaining conversations. We talked about how "BM" would not be an appropriate nickname to order a bloody mary with. I notified them that I had to go to the bathroom, they laughed and said "what else is new." We talked about how Jordan is leaving us to go throw poop at monkeys in Texas, etc. Basically it was just three friends shooting the shit (yes pun intended). In all the commotion Natalia knocked over her glass. I breathed a sigh of relief, that was a close call for my white jeans. Natalia and I naturally celebrated by handing Hagan (our fabulous bartender) her blackberry to take some photos of us.
We were on our 5oth picture retake since Hagan, although a wonderful bartender, is an awful photographer. All of a sudden, Natalia lost her balance and spilled blooy mary on my white jeans! Well, actually on my friend Devon's white jeans....which was even worse! However, that wonderful bartender I mentioned before , quickly brought me some seltzer water that washed that Zing Zang right out. I breathed a sigh of relief. We decided that was enough close calls in Jazz'd and we wanted to go dance. Off to Seed we went.
Let me tell you, the base was pumping! My favorite, Savannah DJ was controlling the atmosphere. His name is DJ Cesar and he really rocks! You can find him at Seed and Crypt most nights! There was somewhat of a dance battle going on in the middle of the floor. These guys could really break dance. They were doing all sorts of flips and spins. So OBVIOUSLY, I decided to battle.
I cleared the circle, smiled, tilted my head to one shoulder then the next to loosen up a little and went in for the kill. A perfect handstand! Yes! I even did some walking and a dramatic twist on one hand to land in a cute pose seated gracefully on the floor one knee up and one leg (with a pointed toe) stretched in front. So it wasn't break dancing and I looked like a massive dork, but I got some major props. One guy even took me aside and tried to teach me a few tricks.
I finally left the battling to the professionals and went back to dancing with my friends. Natalia and I were really shaking our bootys off, afterall, this was a CELEBRATION. The song "Drop It Low" by Easter Dean ft. Chris Brown came on. Our hearts pumped faster, our hands reached to the ceiling and we let out a big "woooooo i love this song," which is the natural response at every song change. Something in that song inspired me....I told my self I was really going to drop it low. Please play it below so that you can experience the power of this song as you read over the following events.
ester dean drop it low remix feat. lil wayne chris brown trey songz and diddy
I got my sexiest face on and jokingly gave my friend the "come hither finger" (come hither finger= when you extend your arm, palm facing up, make a fist, then extend your pointer finger and curl it up slowly a few times). Alright this was it...I was determined to give it my all. I dropped it low...success!!! As I stood back up, I got cocky. I was going to do it again, this time adding a few bounces. The first two bounces were executed perfectly, and I guess I decided I liked it down there. As I took my last bounce I heard a rip, even over all the music. I quickly stood up, squeezed my cheeks and turned my fanny to the wall. I turned to Natalia and our conversation and sights played out as follows:
N: " Yeah i saw, get it girl! woooo..!"
H: "No, no, no, Nataliaaaa.....I ripped my pants!"
N: "Bahahaha..."
H: "Is it bad?"
N: "bahahahahahahahahahahaha......."
H: "What are you laughing at? Now you have to rip yours."
N: What? Why?
I won't go into details but this conversation ended with a split and Natalia ripping both of her pants legs straight down the center of her upper thighs to her ankles. We continued to dance the night away (p.s. the bar was dark and you couldn't see my butt as long as I stayed standing). Needless to say, I kept to the fist pumping the rest of the night.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Valentine's Shmalentine's
Valentine's day is so bitter sweet it's unbelievable. On one hand it's become trendy to flip the holiday the bird. Badass chicks, independent ladies, and and those just down with being a rebel seem so eager to pretend they could give two flips about Valentine's Day. I know I've been guilty of the same attitude.
However I can also confess that when the day finally comes around, I'm turning every corner secretly hoping for some extravagant surprise! No matter how tough you want to appear, you know that on that day you're secretly hoping to be swept off your feet by your prince charming! Part of the reason girls have become so blase' about February 14th is because of YOU, men. Yes that's right, it's all on you. However, there's hope! It's so easy to turn it around and be the hero that saved this sweet and sexy day!
I have already told my man that getting a box of chocolates is a huge turn off. What a brat huh? Honestly though, how absolutely unoriginal is a box of chocolates. It screams "I knew you'd be pissed if I didn't get you something, so I went with these." Nothing like a box of chocolates on Valentines Day to make you feel like all the other ladies in the world. I love a gift that carries some type of significant connection to my relationship with someone. A gift that says "I thought of us when I saw this," or "I remembered you said you wanted this," or even a gift that strays from the usual stuffed animal, chocolate, roses etc.
I guess I was spoiled when I was younger. My dad would get my sister and I gifts for Valentine's Day, so it's a big let down to get a gift from some guy that a gift from my dad out shined 10 years ago. Guys, let me tell you how to get the most out of your Valentine's Day. Unless this is a brand new relationship (and by brand new I mean almost secret admirer status), stay away from Walmart, CVS, Walgreens, your local grocery store, etc. Spend at least 1 or 2 hours thinking, JUST THINKING, about what to get your special lady. Think about what makes her different from your past relationships, or what makes her shine brighter in your eyes in a room full of people, or why you have especially appreciated her in your life recently.
Come on guys you can do this, it's not difficult. You can think about it in the shower, while you're dropping a load, while you're pumping iron, or before you go to sleep. Then, once you've put a measly 2 hrs of thought in, spend at least 1 hour shopping for something significant. It can be big or small, expensive or free, edible or not. Just make sure it's something that has a direct connection with your relationship. Good luck! Go get em' gents!
DISCLAIMER: Last Valentine's Day was one of the most wonderful I have experienced. My man gave me flowers, a hair straightener, his led zeppelin t-shirt, and took me for a beer and some awesome sushi!
The hair straightener was bought because he had dropped mine when he was goofing off in my bathroom, touching everything that doesn't belong to him (as he usually does). I had complained that it never worked quite the same after it took that tumble.
The led zeppelin t-shirt was from an episode of "That 70's Show" that we were watching one night. My man isn't that fond of expressing emotions, or being overly romantic and gooshy. So when we saw Hyde give Jackie his favorite Led Zeppelin shirt for her birthday, I teasingly said, "you'd never do something that romantic huh?" Giving me HIS favorite Led Zeppelin t-shirt definitely reassured me that he is truly living with me in all those quiet moments and that I'm not alone on this adventure. (although....a couple weeks later he did ask for it back.....ah well.)
I did get the cliche flowers and candy along with my presents. But even those had a special touch. Every package of candy I got had one piece either missing or with a bite taken out of it. It was probably my favorite part about all of the gifts, because it was so familiar. He's alway taking bites out of my food. It just reminded me that the gifts truly came from him.
However I can also confess that when the day finally comes around, I'm turning every corner secretly hoping for some extravagant surprise! No matter how tough you want to appear, you know that on that day you're secretly hoping to be swept off your feet by your prince charming! Part of the reason girls have become so blase' about February 14th is because of YOU, men. Yes that's right, it's all on you. However, there's hope! It's so easy to turn it around and be the hero that saved this sweet and sexy day!
I have already told my man that getting a box of chocolates is a huge turn off. What a brat huh? Honestly though, how absolutely unoriginal is a box of chocolates. It screams "I knew you'd be pissed if I didn't get you something, so I went with these." Nothing like a box of chocolates on Valentines Day to make you feel like all the other ladies in the world. I love a gift that carries some type of significant connection to my relationship with someone. A gift that says "I thought of us when I saw this," or "I remembered you said you wanted this," or even a gift that strays from the usual stuffed animal, chocolate, roses etc.
I guess I was spoiled when I was younger. My dad would get my sister and I gifts for Valentine's Day, so it's a big let down to get a gift from some guy that a gift from my dad out shined 10 years ago. Guys, let me tell you how to get the most out of your Valentine's Day. Unless this is a brand new relationship (and by brand new I mean almost secret admirer status), stay away from Walmart, CVS, Walgreens, your local grocery store, etc. Spend at least 1 or 2 hours thinking, JUST THINKING, about what to get your special lady. Think about what makes her different from your past relationships, or what makes her shine brighter in your eyes in a room full of people, or why you have especially appreciated her in your life recently.
Come on guys you can do this, it's not difficult. You can think about it in the shower, while you're dropping a load, while you're pumping iron, or before you go to sleep. Then, once you've put a measly 2 hrs of thought in, spend at least 1 hour shopping for something significant. It can be big or small, expensive or free, edible or not. Just make sure it's something that has a direct connection with your relationship. Good luck! Go get em' gents!
DISCLAIMER: Last Valentine's Day was one of the most wonderful I have experienced. My man gave me flowers, a hair straightener, his led zeppelin t-shirt, and took me for a beer and some awesome sushi!
The hair straightener was bought because he had dropped mine when he was goofing off in my bathroom, touching everything that doesn't belong to him (as he usually does). I had complained that it never worked quite the same after it took that tumble.
The led zeppelin t-shirt was from an episode of "That 70's Show" that we were watching one night. My man isn't that fond of expressing emotions, or being overly romantic and gooshy. So when we saw Hyde give Jackie his favorite Led Zeppelin shirt for her birthday, I teasingly said, "you'd never do something that romantic huh?" Giving me HIS favorite Led Zeppelin t-shirt definitely reassured me that he is truly living with me in all those quiet moments and that I'm not alone on this adventure. (although....a couple weeks later he did ask for it back.....ah well.)
I did get the cliche flowers and candy along with my presents. But even those had a special touch. Every package of candy I got had one piece either missing or with a bite taken out of it. It was probably my favorite part about all of the gifts, because it was so familiar. He's alway taking bites out of my food. It just reminded me that the gifts truly came from him.
Friday, February 4, 2011
My Cab Driver is Better Than Yours.
I will never forget the night I met the coolest cab driver in Savannah. It was a warm night downtown in Savannah, August 2010. I had just gotten into a little fight with my boyfriend at Sweet Melissa's, while we were awaiting our 3AM pizza. We won't go into the fight because it includes another person with whom I have since cleared things up with. (No need to rehash). However, I will tell you the fight ended with me explaining to my man "If you want to stay here then you stay, but I'm leaving, and I won't forget your decision." Of course, sticking to our normal routine we were perfectly fine the next morning. I forgave hime for not speaking up and he forgave me for worrying him by disappearing downtown leaving him with my cell phone and no way to find if I'm safe. Needless to say, we were all intoxicated.
Drunk and heated, I only gave him 2 seconds to respond before I spun around and fled the scene. As my hot, vodka filled, tears beaded down my face, I pushed forward walking block after block, not excluding shady back alleys. Finally, when I began to sober up, I realized I couldn't wander around downtown all night. I was sick of hearing the wannabe "Nights in Shining Armor" telling me that I'd be much prettier if I smiled, or that they would never make me cry. These pick up lines, annoying enough themselves were followed by either a 3 minute stalking session, or a plea to "get those digits girl." What is it about a drunk crying girl that gets you guys all in a tizzy? A bit slimy, gents.
Finally, my journey was over. I had spotted my TRUE Knight In Shining Armor waiting for me. He was an older gentleman with shaggy grey hair. Leaning against his yellow, metal, steed; he welcomed me with a smile and asked if I needed a ride. "Yes, yes I do actually." I would have been happy with a simple ride, but this was one rad dude. We talked about life, Savannah, music, etc. He had a kind of hippie-ish mellow voice and with every "yeah dude" or "totally" my blood began to cool from boiling back down to body temp. As I paid him, got out of his cab and turned to say goodbye, I assured him that I would be telling all of my friends how awesome he really is.
I was true to my word, my friends and I call him all the time. I have handed out about a dozen of his cards and talk about him whenever the subjects of cabs or drunk driving come up. He takes me and my friend Natalia downtown every weekend. He picks us up from lunch. He takes us to work and guitar lessons. If you call him he will be there with minutes to spare. He never fusses if we keep him waiting a few minutes for a last minute drink, wardrobe change, or even a trip to the potty! Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's been a little over a year since I first met him, and I still know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Henry Hilliard is truly the most fabulous cab driver in Savannah. If you ever need a ride in Savannah GA call (912) 234-6006.
Drunk and heated, I only gave him 2 seconds to respond before I spun around and fled the scene. As my hot, vodka filled, tears beaded down my face, I pushed forward walking block after block, not excluding shady back alleys. Finally, when I began to sober up, I realized I couldn't wander around downtown all night. I was sick of hearing the wannabe "Nights in Shining Armor" telling me that I'd be much prettier if I smiled, or that they would never make me cry. These pick up lines, annoying enough themselves were followed by either a 3 minute stalking session, or a plea to "get those digits girl." What is it about a drunk crying girl that gets you guys all in a tizzy? A bit slimy, gents.
Finally, my journey was over. I had spotted my TRUE Knight In Shining Armor waiting for me. He was an older gentleman with shaggy grey hair. Leaning against his yellow, metal, steed; he welcomed me with a smile and asked if I needed a ride. "Yes, yes I do actually." I would have been happy with a simple ride, but this was one rad dude. We talked about life, Savannah, music, etc. He had a kind of hippie-ish mellow voice and with every "yeah dude" or "totally" my blood began to cool from boiling back down to body temp. As I paid him, got out of his cab and turned to say goodbye, I assured him that I would be telling all of my friends how awesome he really is.
I was true to my word, my friends and I call him all the time. I have handed out about a dozen of his cards and talk about him whenever the subjects of cabs or drunk driving come up. He takes me and my friend Natalia downtown every weekend. He picks us up from lunch. He takes us to work and guitar lessons. If you call him he will be there with minutes to spare. He never fusses if we keep him waiting a few minutes for a last minute drink, wardrobe change, or even a trip to the potty! Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's been a little over a year since I first met him, and I still know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Henry Hilliard is truly the most fabulous cab driver in Savannah. If you ever need a ride in Savannah GA call (912) 234-6006.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
"Breathe...1...2...3...4...5..."
How many times have you wished you could have taken back something said in the heat of the moment, a certain reaction you had, or a course of action you took? Impulsive behavior is a heart breaker. Recently, I've realized my impulsive behavior has hurt me in more ways than one. Once you've been tagged impulsive it's hard to defend yourself when gossip stirs. Yes I have the tendency to not think before I act, yes I make decisions on the drop of a dime, yes I over react. But does that mean that I lie or cheat? No, but if you have all the characteristics of an impulsive person, who is going to believe you when you claim to have not made a poor decision? In the recent past my relationship has suffered because of some gossip. Is it fair to get accused of something I didn't do?...Obviously not. Does it make me feel insanely embarrassed?...Of course. Do my hot temper and irresponsible behavioral trends help my case? Nope. It kills me that my temperament makes this rumor easy to believe, therefore I am the one responsible for damaging my relationship, regardless of the fact that the rumor is false. Well I'm sick of not having rational decision making and a mild temperament to back me up with any accusations thrown my way. It's not a good feeling to not have people see you as trust worth simply because I have a tendency to make decisions, overreact, or get a little too snappy. So that's it, impulsive behavior, get lost. From now on I think before I react. My 5 second rule not only applies to the cookies I drop on the floor anymore. No more letting something little make my blood boil, causing me to unload on my man. No more last minute plans that cause me to bail on a friend. No more decisions prefaced with the phrase "I'm going to regret this tomorrow." Because the next time someone makes accusations about me I want to have not only the truth to back me up, but my reputation as well. Because we all know the truth is not always enough. People believe what's most comfortable to believe or what's easiest to imagine. I'm not going to be a victim of that anymore.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Ladies Night! Free Drinks and Glares!
One of my best friends, Natalia (who also confuses people by going by Natasha), called me last Wednesday to see if we still had plans to go out and relieve some stress! I exclaimed "LADIES NIGHT AT THE CRYPT! FREE DRINKS TILL 12!" Five minutes later we were calling our favorite cab driver, Henry Hilliard. We only bothered changing our work pants to jeans. We weren't trying to impress anyone, since there would be mostly ladies at "lady's night." I even sported a bandanna to hide my unwashed hair.
We walked in smiling and completely ready for our free drinks. Even with our full coverage coats and downplayed look we seemed to offend all the double X chromosomes in the room. The bar consisted of 5 men to about 60 women. All 60 of those women stopped dead in their tracks as we passed the threshold. They glared deeply at us, as if to say "DON'T YOU SEE THERE ARE ENOUGH VAGINAS IN HERE?!" Ummm..Talk about awkward. Natalia and I are pretty tough girls, but we were surrounded. I felt as though we had just stumbled into a pack of wild lions and it just so happened to be mating season....greeeaaaat. Our lives seemed to be slightly in danger.
We crept to the bar with modest smiles. As we patiently waited for a bartender, a black haired girl whose face was adorned with orange bronzer and a cold stare approached us. I spo
ke up "Hey, do ladies..." An eye roll and head nod interrupted the completion of my question. "Ok well...," as I thought what drink to order, I was interrupted again with a very impatient "What do you want?" We kept it simple and went for the cranvodkas. In perfect synchrony, Natalia and I reached for two plastic "to-go" cups and hit the door.
Thank goodness you can walk around downtown Savannah with drinks, and thank goodness we escaped with our lives. By the way "ladies," (and I use the term loosely, you snarling beasts), were the 5 goofy men in the bar worth all of that hostility??? I promise this is NO exaggeration.....i felt like I was in the twilight zone!
Anyways, we ran to see our friend Jordan, who we, along with his grandmother, like to call Jodie (pictured above). Mr. Jodie let us into the Mataharhi (a bar in Savannah that you have to be a key holder to enjoy). We turned the night around by playing some pool, dancing to some swing music, and eventually getting some recognition for just how badass we are. the owner of the Mataharhi handed us the keys to the bar, that would normally cost us 50 bucks a piece.
Yet again another girls night turned into Natalia and I ditching the ladies for our guy friends.
We walked in smiling and completely ready for our free drinks. Even with our full coverage coats and downplayed look we seemed to offend all the double X chromosomes in the room. The bar consisted of 5 men to about 60 women. All 60 of those women stopped dead in their tracks as we passed the threshold. They glared deeply at us, as if to say "DON'T YOU SEE THERE ARE ENOUGH VAGINAS IN HERE?!" Ummm..Talk about awkward. Natalia and I are pretty tough girls, but we were surrounded. I felt as though we had just stumbled into a pack of wild lions and it just so happened to be mating season....greeeaaaat. Our lives seemed to be slightly in danger.
We crept to the bar with modest smiles. As we patiently waited for a bartender, a black haired girl whose face was adorned with orange bronzer and a cold stare approached us. I spo
ke up "Hey, do ladies..." An eye roll and head nod interrupted the completion of my question. "Ok well...," as I thought what drink to order, I was interrupted again with a very impatient "What do you want?" We kept it simple and went for the cranvodkas. In perfect synchrony, Natalia and I reached for two plastic "to-go" cups and hit the door. Thank goodness you can walk around downtown Savannah with drinks, and thank goodness we escaped with our lives. By the way "ladies," (and I use the term loosely, you snarling beasts), were the 5 goofy men in the bar worth all of that hostility??? I promise this is NO exaggeration.....i felt like I was in the twilight zone!
Anyways, we ran to see our friend Jordan, who we, along with his grandmother, like to call Jodie (pictured above). Mr. Jodie let us into the Mataharhi (a bar in Savannah that you have to be a key holder to enjoy). We turned the night around by playing some pool, dancing to some swing music, and eventually getting some recognition for just how badass we are. the owner of the Mataharhi handed us the keys to the bar, that would normally cost us 50 bucks a piece.
Yet again another girls night turned into Natalia and I ditching the ladies for our guy friends.
My best friend gave me Crabs!
Who knew getting crabs would be one of the best things that welcomed my 2011!? 
I guess I should summarize my holiday season first before I jump right in and tell you how I got crabs! I had recently met an AWESOME girl named Katharina from Germany. To the right, you can tell we had an instant connection! We only had a couple weeks, but we managed to pack in some rockin memories! We discovered just exactly what a "Jack on Crack" was and followed up our discovery with 2 more rounds of it. We danced the night away in almost every bar in Savannah. And finally, despite feeling completely lazy compared to all the people downtown who were doing the bridge run in Savannah, we had an amazing recovery morning at Starbucks.
We used this lazy morning to have a wonderful conversation about life and love. I truly believe we may have solved every relationship problem anyone could go through in our 20 minute convo (if only we could find a way to follow our wisdom...). We formed a strong bond, sharing the idea that guys are much more fun than girls and jealousy is something that rots a friendship and stirs up buzz killing drama. Sadly, Miss Katharina had to go back to Germany and continue her life. However, before she did that it was obvious what needed to be done. We had to celebrate! So we celebrated, drowned ourselves in the sorrows of having to part ways, and celebrated some more!
With every drink we drank and dance we danced, I assured my pretty German that I would take her to her host family's house at 6am! We got some shut eye around 2am and awoke the next morning puffy eyes and all to start our journey. We had some trouble getting a cab to my car. Finally after walking a few blocks to meet our cab driver things were looking on track.
We were almost at her host family's house when my car apparently got the hiccups and then died. Thankfully it died only a mile away from her host family's house. As Katharina could not be late to the house (since her ride to the Atlanta airport was waiting there for her), and I could not be late for work (since it was only my 3rd week at my job); we had to part ways. As she walked a long dirt road to her house, I called a towing company and sat with my car. I waited 3 hours on that dirt road for my rescue. Finally, a man, who's name escapes me but beer belly and southern drawl I'll never be able to forget, appeared in a tow truck. As I watched him load my car so slowly I noticed my phone battery dying by the second and immediately, thoughts of movies such as "Wrong Turn" began to fill my head. I finally climbed in, thinking "oh well, here goes nothing" as I normally do in situations such as these. I actually had a disappointingly boring ride back to Savannah. I forked over nearly 300 for the uneventful lift. And I sat outside my apartment, now nearly 4 hrs late for work and thought how brilliant I was for having my car towed here and not to work (I work at Savannah Toyota). Yes, thank you, thank you, I'm a genius. I had to call my family and tell them that I did not have a car at the moment to make the trip to S.C. for the holidays. However, my holiday plans were not completely foiled due to an awesome friend, Miss Crystal North. Crystal and I have been friends now for only a little under a year.
However, we have quite the relationship. We refer to each other as wifey, and we suspect that everyone at her work believes we are lesbian lovers (disclaimer...we aren't). You can notice to the left, we rarely care what others think of our friendship. We have become each other's family in Savannah and that's all that matters. Crystal, kknowing that I had never missed a Christmas with my family decided to make a Christmas dinner and surprise me with an early morning Christmas gift! She knows how much I want a dog, but that unfortunately I can't afford one right now. So she decided to get me Hermit crabs, since they are less of a financial burden. I LOVED them! I named one Led and one Zeppelin. They came fullyequipped with a cage, green sand, a teal tikki hut, shell feeders, and a plastic palm tree! I wish this was the happy end to my holidays. Sadly for Zeppelin, it is not. One night I came home to my empty apartment. It had been empty since December 31st, when my roommate decided to inform me after a month of living in my apartment that his check from the army didn't come in and he could no longer afford the place. Yes, by the way, that IS in fact one day before rent is due! And remember, I had already paid for a car towing and by this time car repair.....yep....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! Anyways, trying to stay positive, I bounced up the stairs, soooo excited to check on my little crustacean children. I knelt down to take a look at my babies. I wasn't exactly sure what to do when I saw Zeppelin laying outside of his shell. I was a little disgusted (i'm sorry but have you ever seen a hermit crab without his cutely painted shell???...yeah ewww). Along with my disgust though came concern and sheer panic. I closed my eyes and poked him with my car key (no not with my finger....again, have you seen one outside it's shell???). No movement. So I squirted him with water. Not even a flicker of from his antennas! I called Crystal. Crying, I confessed Zeppelin had passed away. She said "Don't do anything, I'll be right over." As I sat there looking at my dead pet, I thought well at least Crystal can do the honors of giving him the royal flush because I'm not sure I had the stomach for it. My blood boiled in disappointment of that thought. My friend gave me hermit crabs because she knew I wasn't ready for a dog....and I can't even keep them alive...and NOW that he's dead I can't even handle that myself??? So I scooped him up with a CD case, took him outside in the cold, and gave him a proper burial. Just as I was calming down inside my apartment, Crystal flings my door open and exclaims with a huge smile "I don't think he's dead!!!" She goes on to explain that it's part of their molting process. I interrupted her, bursted in tears and yelled "WELL HE IS NOW." Even after reading that the slightest disturbance to a molting hermit crab will kill them, we decided
that Zeppelin would be a miracle crab. We dug him up, gave him a bath, and placed him gently back into his cage. The next night my room smelled like dead fish, so I knew that only the miracle of decomposition had begun to take place. I buried him again, this time with a little more ease. I'm not sure what kind of psychological affects this has had on poor Led (pictured on right), but even with his cage mate, Marley, he is a little more of a hermit (pun obviously intended) than usual.
UPDATE: I AM SAD TO REPORT THAT SINCE THIS POST, LED DIED. SHORTLY AFTER MARLEY ALSO PASSED AWAY. I WILL NEVER FORGET THESE HERMITS, AND ALSO NEVER OWN ANOTHER HERMIT FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE (OBVIOUS REASONS).
I guess I should summarize my holiday season first before I jump right in and tell you how I got crabs! I had recently met an AWESOME girl named Katharina from Germany. To the right, you can tell we had an instant connection! We only had a couple weeks, but we managed to pack in some rockin memories! We discovered just exactly what a "Jack on Crack" was and followed up our discovery with 2 more rounds of it. We danced the night away in almost every bar in Savannah. And finally, despite feeling completely lazy compared to all the people downtown who were doing the bridge run in Savannah, we had an amazing recovery morning at Starbucks. We used this lazy morning to have a wonderful conversation about life and love. I truly believe we may have solved every relationship problem anyone could go through in our 20 minute convo (if only we could find a way to follow our wisdom...). We formed a strong bond, sharing the idea that guys are much more fun than girls and jealousy is something that rots a friendship and stirs up buzz killing drama. Sadly, Miss Katharina had to go back to Germany and continue her life. However, before she did that it was obvious what needed to be done. We had to celebrate! So we celebrated, drowned ourselves in the sorrows of having to part ways, and celebrated some more!
With every drink we drank and dance we danced, I assured my pretty German that I would take her to her host family's house at 6am! We got some shut eye around 2am and awoke the next morning puffy eyes and all to start our journey. We had some trouble getting a cab to my car. Finally after walking a few blocks to meet our cab driver things were looking on track.
We were almost at her host family's house when my car apparently got the hiccups and then died. Thankfully it died only a mile away from her host family's house. As Katharina could not be late to the house (since her ride to the Atlanta airport was waiting there for her), and I could not be late for work (since it was only my 3rd week at my job); we had to part ways. As she walked a long dirt road to her house, I called a towing company and sat with my car. I waited 3 hours on that dirt road for my rescue. Finally, a man, who's name escapes me but beer belly and southern drawl I'll never be able to forget, appeared in a tow truck. As I watched him load my car so slowly I noticed my phone battery dying by the second and immediately, thoughts of movies such as "Wrong Turn" began to fill my head. I finally climbed in, thinking "oh well, here goes nothing" as I normally do in situations such as these. I actually had a disappointingly boring ride back to Savannah. I forked over nearly 300 for the uneventful lift. And I sat outside my apartment, now nearly 4 hrs late for work and thought how brilliant I was for having my car towed here and not to work (I work at Savannah Toyota). Yes, thank you, thank you, I'm a genius. I had to call my family and tell them that I did not have a car at the moment to make the trip to S.C. for the holidays. However, my holiday plans were not completely foiled due to an awesome friend, Miss Crystal North. Crystal and I have been friends now for only a little under a year.
However, we have quite the relationship. We refer to each other as wifey, and we suspect that everyone at her work believes we are lesbian lovers (disclaimer...we aren't). You can notice to the left, we rarely care what others think of our friendship. We have become each other's family in Savannah and that's all that matters. Crystal, kknowing that I had never missed a Christmas with my family decided to make a Christmas dinner and surprise me with an early morning Christmas gift! She knows how much I want a dog, but that unfortunately I can't afford one right now. So she decided to get me Hermit crabs, since they are less of a financial burden. I LOVED them! I named one Led and one Zeppelin. They came fullyequipped with a cage, green sand, a teal tikki hut, shell feeders, and a plastic palm tree! I wish this was the happy end to my holidays. Sadly for Zeppelin, it is not. One night I came home to my empty apartment. It had been empty since December 31st, when my roommate decided to inform me after a month of living in my apartment that his check from the army didn't come in and he could no longer afford the place. Yes, by the way, that IS in fact one day before rent is due! And remember, I had already paid for a car towing and by this time car repair.....yep....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! Anyways, trying to stay positive, I bounced up the stairs, soooo excited to check on my little crustacean children. I knelt down to take a look at my babies. I wasn't exactly sure what to do when I saw Zeppelin laying outside of his shell. I was a little disgusted (i'm sorry but have you ever seen a hermit crab without his cutely painted shell???...yeah ewww). Along with my disgust though came concern and sheer panic. I closed my eyes and poked him with my car key (no not with my finger....again, have you seen one outside it's shell???). No movement. So I squirted him with water. Not even a flicker of from his antennas! I called Crystal. Crying, I confessed Zeppelin had passed away. She said "Don't do anything, I'll be right over." As I sat there looking at my dead pet, I thought well at least Crystal can do the honors of giving him the royal flush because I'm not sure I had the stomach for it. My blood boiled in disappointment of that thought. My friend gave me hermit crabs because she knew I wasn't ready for a dog....and I can't even keep them alive...and NOW that he's dead I can't even handle that myself??? So I scooped him up with a CD case, took him outside in the cold, and gave him a proper burial. Just as I was calming down inside my apartment, Crystal flings my door open and exclaims with a huge smile "I don't think he's dead!!!" She goes on to explain that it's part of their molting process. I interrupted her, bursted in tears and yelled "WELL HE IS NOW." Even after reading that the slightest disturbance to a molting hermit crab will kill them, we decided
that Zeppelin would be a miracle crab. We dug him up, gave him a bath, and placed him gently back into his cage. The next night my room smelled like dead fish, so I knew that only the miracle of decomposition had begun to take place. I buried him again, this time with a little more ease. I'm not sure what kind of psychological affects this has had on poor Led (pictured on right), but even with his cage mate, Marley, he is a little more of a hermit (pun obviously intended) than usual.UPDATE: I AM SAD TO REPORT THAT SINCE THIS POST, LED DIED. SHORTLY AFTER MARLEY ALSO PASSED AWAY. I WILL NEVER FORGET THESE HERMITS, AND ALSO NEVER OWN ANOTHER HERMIT FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE (OBVIOUS REASONS).
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