"Breathe...1...2...3...4...5..."

How many times have you wished you could have taken back something said in the heat of the moment, a certain reaction you had, or a course of action you took? Impulsive behavior is a heart breaker. Recently, I've realized my impulsive behavior has hurt me in more ways than one. Once you've been tagged impulsive it's hard to defend yourself when gossip stirs. Yes I have the tendency to not think before I act, yes I make decisions on the drop of a dime, yes I over react. But does that mean that I lie or cheat? No, but if you have all the characteristics of an impulsive person, who is going to believe you when you claim to have not made a poor decision? In the recent past my relationship has suffered because of some gossip. Is it fair to get accused of something I didn't do?...Obviously not. Does it make me feel insanely embarrassed?...Of course. Do my hot temper and irresponsible behavioral trends help my case? Nope. It kills me that my temperament makes this rumor easy to believe, therefore I am the one responsible for damaging my relationship, regardless of the fact that the rumor is false. Well I'm sick of not having rational decision making and a mild temperament to back me up with any accusations thrown my way. It's not a good feeling to not have people see you as trust worth simply because I have a tendency to make decisions, overreact, or get a little too snappy. So that's it, impulsive behavior, get lost. From now on I think before I react. My 5 second rule not only applies to the cookies I drop on the floor anymore. No more letting something little make my blood boil, causing me to unload on my man. No more last minute plans that cause me to bail on a friend. No more decisions prefaced with the phrase "I'm going to regret this tomorrow." Because the next time someone makes accusations about me I want to have not only the truth to back me up, but my reputation as well. Because we all know the truth is not always enough. People believe what's most comfortable to believe or what's easiest to imagine. I'm not going to be a victim of that anymore.