Friendship

     What is in a true friend? This has been on my mind a lot recently because I am in a new city and currently networking and making new friends. Anyways, just thought I'd outline a few things to have a more clear grasp on the type of people I want to invest time in and surround myself by. This isn't just so I can weed out people though. I also, as anyone, could always use a reminding of the type of friend I want to be. No one is perfect and we all will make mistakes in relationships and friendships, but it's nice to have the person in mind that you are striving to be everyday.

1. Loyalty would have to be my number one quality in a friend. I think it should be the base of everything. I want to know that no matter what presents itself my friend will always strive to keep the best interest of my reputation in mind. I would never expect a friend to go agains their own opinions. I want to be secure that I will be supported even if I'm not agreed with. Something as simple as "Well in my opinion...blah blah, but I know my friend and I'm sure she has a good reason for her own opinion" is such an easy way to stay true to oneself while simultaneously having your friend's back. I am a ride or die type friend, if you wrong my friend....I will NOT be happy. Loyalty is so important to protect yourself from getting manipulated into being pitted against your own friend. I want to know that no matter what gets said my friend will defend me with great strength. It would be ideal for my friend to be so obviously a "ride or die friend" that people don't even feel comfortable saying anything negative about me in front of them.

2. Trust. Where can you go with a friendship if you can't trust what your friend is saying. I want to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that when my friend recalls an event to me that there is no manipulation involved. I want to know the facts no matter what. I don't even think this needs much more explaination....it's such a simple and obvious concept.

3. It's very important to me that my friends have a sensitive and genuine understanding of who I am. I'm willing to share and expect acceptance of what my goals are, what my weaknesses are, what I'm selfconscious about, what makes me happy, what makes me mad, what annoys me, and on and on. If my friend is going to be loyal ^ then it's important they are aware of these things. I want to know that in a social setting they won't inadvertantly put me down about something that truly affects me. Also, it's so nice to have a friend that can read a situation and assist me in avoiding things that could potentially really upset me or hurt me. I consider this being an ACTIVE friend. Not just sitting back and enjoying times together, but instead being present and aware of the moments and doing what we can to enhance our times together and make them the best times we can have.  

4. No matter the distance between or lack of contact, I want to know my friend is my friend and they've signed on for the long haul. I can think of a few friends who I am so lucky to have that unfortunately I haven't been able to speak with for a while. At the end of the day, however, I know they are still there (as I am for them) and that feeling of security is amazing.


     Again, we all make mistakes and I don't expect my friends to be perfect all the time. If you screw up there's the expectation that you will apologize....and not do it again. As a friend you should be forgiving and understanding. However, if the screw ups come from bad intentions then I am very quick to cut people out of my life or lose interest in being around them. I really go off of vibes from people. If I think your heart is in the right place then I'm quick to trust you and open up about almost anything to you. I try really hard to live by these expectations but I'm sure sometimes I drop the ball. I'm very quick to apologize and explain any reasonings for my screw ups. I love my friends dearly and am really looking forward to creating more friends here in my new home.