My Girl's Got a Girlfriend

     Hats off to you, you downtown Savannah gentlemen. You know who you are:

The men (boys rather) who scurry frantically from bar to bar searching for the night's unlucky and unsuspecting "ass" to take home.

The ones who think "hey girl come here" will ACTUALLY get you a number (well from a respectable girl).

The pigs who consider a great compliment to be phrases like the simple, "Damn" to the more descriptive, "Ohhh girl the things I could do to you!"

     You've done it! You've just made two gorgeous girls (alright so I'm being vain...bite me), PRETEND to be gay for each other to avoid any further remarks from you. Yes, you are THAT annoying. We'd rather suffer rumors from those gossip girls. Yeah, those girls who also frequent downtown and take notes of any juicy, yet completely ignorant, info that they can share with anyone who is bored enough to listen.

     Last Friday, my friend Rebecca and I went downtown. We were just looking to have a few drinks, dance, and chitchat about life. She lives in Florida so it's a treat when she's in town and we get to spend time together. At first is was a wonderful time. We were just enjoying savannah and bar hopping with an awesome pal, David White! You let us have our fun at the bars (I guess in a crowd we remain unapproachable). But you just couldn't let us have a nice walk and talk to our car could you? After all, that's when you strike.

     Let me give you a hint for next time: If it's 3 AM and the bars have closed, but YOU still haven't managed to close a deal....go home get some rest.....practice in the mirror.....and try again tomorrow. I say this simply because if you haven't set yourself up for anything by 3AM, this means you OBVIOUSLY will not be closing the deal with any good looking (not drugged or trashed) girl who is just trying to make it to her car.

     This is why you may or may not have seen my friend Rebecca and I telling random men on the street we were in a relationship, or have seen us holding hands, or attempting a fake make-out to prove our lesbian love for each other. Sadly the truth is that if YOU were all we had to chose from, well... we probably would date each other.

I'll end on some advice for you:

- Introducing yourself is good

- Starting a conversation with "Can I get your number" is bad (STALKER)

- "Wow you girls are gorgeous" is good. However, don't expect me to jump in your car over that...and if you don't get more than a smile and a "Thank you" DO NOT resort to calling me names. Instead, be smart. Walk away with a good attitude, if I see you next time I may be more open to talking to you.

- Any reference to sex is bad!!!! Any good looking girl, worth anything, isn't worried about finding sex or a relationship...so don't make that your number one attribute.

- Grabbing a girl is bad. Ummmm who are you? And what makes you think you can touch me?....ever...

- Humping me from behind while I'm dancing with my friend is bad. Again if I wanted that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be wasting my time on a dance floor....also it's very dangerous for you....we've been known to throw drinks and kick.


   There are so many more tips, but If you start with these I'm sure it'll help you steer clear of the nasty girl snags and the smacks in the face. Unless you want a less than desirable girl. If that IS all you're looking for then please learn what they look like. They're the ones showing their underwear, falling over drunk, and slurring the words "I love you," "take me home" and "I'm gonna be sick" all at once. NOT MY FRIEND OR I. 


                                      I must say....we would make a pretty hot couple though =)

                                                        Rebecca and I (Seed Lounge)

Spirit in the Sky

     I think the first thing that went through my head is deep regret for not calling or visiting closer to these two family members deaths. It's a horrible feeling that mixes with the sorrow for the other family members as well as the sadness of your personal loss. Losing these two family members in less than two weeks of each other has made me realize there is no excuse for losing contact with the ones you love. You never know what's around the corner. I'm going to try my hardest to soak up the good times with my family from this point on. I miss my Papa and my Aunt Patty so much but I know they are watching over all of their loved ones.


My Papa! What a character. Anytime I would call him I looked forward to our usual banter. "Are you keeping your parents in check?" My reply: "Papa you know that's impossible, didn't you try that for 20 years with my dad...and you didn't even have Mom to worry about!" Okay....doesn't seem that funny, but it was to us. I will never forget is love for a good laugh. It seemed visits to Papa's house meant hearing a hundred new jokes, and hearing a hundred new stories about my dad and his two brothers or my grandmother (who passed away a few years ago as well). I remember our family trips to Myrtle Beach and various other places. I will always appreciate those trips and vacations that were made even when he wasn't feeling in tip top shape. He had such a unique relationship with all of his grandchildren, all of his sons, and all of his daughter in-laws. He attended church regularly, was a war veteran, and a family man. I miss my Papa and he was one of the wonderful men in my life who open my eyes to the type of man I want to end up with for myself. Devoted to his family until the end, he lead and shared a full beautiful life and I'm so glad to have had such a wonderful Grandpa. Rest in Peace Papa.

Papa and I in Myrtle Beach. 2006 Patterson Family Vacation.

     I loved my Aunt Patty. She was actually my cousin.... that's what having a close knit extended family will do to you. Her organization is still something that inspires me! Her kind words will always be with me. I think the memory that has kept replaying in my mind of my Aunt Patty was last summer when she asked me what my plans were right now with work and school. I normally dread this question at family gatherings, because, as you can tell from my previous blogs, I'm not where I want to be in life right now. However, Aunt Patty seemed to ask in such a gentle way and so I opened up. I didn't give my usual, "Oh just working and trying to go back to school." I truly opened up about my plans (at the time) to continue working for Coach Wayne Gymnastics and hopefully soon be able to run one of his new "home base" gyms that he plans to open up in another state. I remember how wonderful it felt to have her look at me and smile and say well it's always good to do something you're passionate about, and you've always loved  gymnastics (I'm sure I'm paraphrasing, but it was something along those supportive lines). She fought a good fight against cancer, raised two wonderful daughters, and touched every life she came into contact with. The way she cared for others on such an individual level will inspire me forever. Rest in Peace Aunt Patty.

From right all the way around the table: Aunt Patty, her two daughters Kelly and Julie, her two nieces (true nieces) Ashley and Krista, her sister in-law (more like sisters) Marie, brother-in-law Billy and husband Pat. This family was/is very tight knit, strong, and beautiful!



Poor Unfortunate Souls

     Yes, yes, I used to be "that girl" in high school. I wasn't socially awkward or categorized as "unpopular." I had plenty of friends, but I was an easy target for those suffering with hidden insecurities. I was the perfect person to transfer pain to, because I gave them instant gratification paid in full.  I was easily hurt by digs and the catty game...and showed it clear as day all over my face. Now? Not so much.
     I know who I am. Even through my struggles I still manage to enjoy everyday...a lot. I have my insecurities, like any woman. However, I know who I am, and I'm pretty damn content with myself. Not in a cocky way. I mean I think it's pretty sweet to be able to say "If I were you, I'd want to be my friend." If you don't think you deserve that then why are you making your friends suffer?....Be a hermit if you think you suck that bad, R.I.P. Led, Zeppelin, and Marley (See "My Friend Gave me Crabs" to get this reference). Anyways, enough self love, back to the topic.
     Listen up ladies who specialize in condescending remarks, bitchy digs, and patronizing sarcasm. You're sad. The only thing your comments do is bring even more attention to me and away from you. Since I do know who I am, I have no fear of the attention or gossip.
     I'm a veteran of surviving rumors and shit talk. You'd be surprised how fast things get corrected and blow over when I sit back and let you do all the talking. My actions always defend me and force people to eventually see the truth. Unfortunately for you, your talking just starts to annoy people.
     You can't make me feel insecure either. Making sure to let me know that you are taking a dig at me only brings to my attention that you feel I'm someone you want to "take down a notch." I've gone through all sorts of different types of reactions to these situations. I've felt bad about myself (at a younger age). I've given you a huge reaction or tried to make a dig back at you. I've felt bad for you and tried things like downplaying an outfit, or keeping quiet a little more. I've gone out of my way to compliment you and point out your attributes.
     All of these have been failing options. So now I play dumb. It doesn't waste my time. It doesn't annoy other people with petty drama. And yes, it still may even leave you with a little hope that somewhere in my confidence you have made an impact. I've never understood how trying to hurt other people can make someone feel better about themselves. I find much more happiness in being responsible for the smiles around me and the confidence emitting from my friends or any random person who's company I'm in. However, I feel bad for those damaged to the point of needing to see pain in others. I guess do what you have to do to face yourself everyday and hopefully one day you'll see your own beauty (inner and outer) and find refuge in that instead.

The tide is high but I'm holding on, I'm gonna be MY number one

     This post probably relates closely to my previous post, "Just Say No." Yes, yes, I'm a people pleaser. I hate for people to be mad at me or mad at each other. However, if I'm going to take control of my life I need to stop it all. I've realized that sometimes you just have to look our for number one. Actually it's what has to come first most of the time.
     Initially, the thought of this made me feel overwhelmingly guilty. I've finally realized that it's nothing to feel ashamed of. If I don't start looking out for myself and my problems, they're only going to get worse and worse. Then what will I have left to offer friends or my relationship?....only more stresses and issues. In order to be able to give you must have. My problem has always been that I give too prematurely. I want to share so badly that when I have I immediately give. Then what happens? I have to turn right back around and ask for assistance. Doesn't make much sense and it's a cycle I'm sick of.
     I need sleep. I need groceries. I need my bills paid on time. I need to go back to school. I need, I need, I need....these aren't wants. I'm not being selfish. In all actuality I'm being anything but selfish. I'm not in a position to be the people pleaser right now. I need all these things under control so I can give all I want to give to give to my family, friends, and boyfriend. If I want to be able to be that person who can give and be reliable I must first be a little selfish and disciplined. I can only hope those who love me will understand and try to help support this little transformation. Love you all!

Just Say No

     I have recently had a small revelation about myself, thanks to one of my fabulous new roommates! I give into things too easily. We were outside talking about our week and she just randomly said, "You know Helen, you don't need to give in so easily and you apologize way too much." This isn't the first time I've heard this conclusion. I guess it's the first time I've actually given it some thought though.
     I've always been a yes type of girl. "Let's go out!" My response: alright! "Can you take me (blank)?" My response: sure. Etc. I like to see people smile and I definitely like everyone to be happy. I think for the most part this could be considered a pretty good quality to have. I'm pretty easy going and as long as everyone is smiling and happy I'm completely content. However, I was recently in the position where my "yes" attitude put two important people and myself in a pretty uncomfortably situation. I had forgotten about securing a Friday night girls night with a friend. I realized I had work early the following Saturday.
    Anyways, I called my beau after work and informed him I was not planning on going out. Shocked and proud he said, "Helen are you sure you aren't going to change your mind?" I laughed and said I can resist. He had to finish up with some online poker stuff so I told him I was going over to hang out with a friend for a bit. When I got to my friend's house welcomed me with a big "wooo friday night girls night!" Whoops! Now what was I to do. My first thought was not what I wanted to do, but instead what could I do to keep both of these people happy? Long story short, we all got short tempered with each other and the more stressful things go, the more they both looked at me to make a decision on how Friday night was going to play out.
     My man finally said, "Look what do YOU want to do tonight?" Okay, okay, anyone knows that is a LOADED question from both sides. I had double booked and now whatever decision I made, in their minds, was going to be a bold statement of choosing one person over the other. Thankfully things worked out and it ended up being better for me and my man to hang out Saturday. However, I wish that I had not subjected myself to this "damned if I do, damned if I don't" standoff. Two things could have prevented my anxiety: #1 Being a little more organized with my plans. #2 Being able to simply recognize what I wanted to do and putting it out there.
     I have let my "yes, if it keeps you happy" attitude for so long that it's become hard for me to determine what I prefer sometimes. "Where do you want to eat?" My response: I don't care, you choose. "What movie do you want to see?" My response: "Didn't you say you wanted to see (blank)? Yes, I am feisty at times, and no, I'm not scared to confront people when needed. But honestly, it's about time for me to revoke my position as the people pleaser. This little girl is going to start practicing her "No's" and her "do it yourself's." No, I'm not going to turn into the super bitch....I'm just going to work on not being a push over.....at least not all the time!
    

Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

     I'm the type of person who is constantly trying to improve who I am. This is NOT implying that some spectacular person. I mean simply that I am not blind to my flaws and I battle with them often, openly and admittedly. However, recently as my struggles slowly begin to subside I'm gradually recognizing some of my accomplishments and attributes.
     No, I haven't had to face any insane obstacles. However, I've said it many times, and I truly believe that everyone's struggles are relative to their own personal life and experiences. A girl experiencing a high school break up can feel just as much pain as a woman going through a divorce after being married for 20 years. This isn't to say that the high school girl can't look to the older woman's experience and find a little comfort in the idea that "things could always be worse."
     Anyways, I'll try to cut back on the extra babel and move on towards my point. My point is simply this:  Although, my struggles may not be deemed "Lifetime Movie" worthy, or significant compared to what other people may have tackled in history, they have been struggles to me all the same and I'm proud to say I've had the strength to pull myself through them.
     I have definitely had help from amazing people. But, however vain this may sound, I can even give myself a nice pat on the back for those helping hands. People, unfortunately, do not just randomly help each other out. Therefore, I can assume that I have given something to my friends and people I have come into contact with to receive such support and love in return.
     My struggles (although comparable to most average 22 year old woman trying to make it on her own financially and eventually work up to sending herself back to school) are my struggles to claim. Each crack in my "plan" I have tripped over, each hurdle that was unexpectedly raised 2 inches too high, each emotional roller coaster that sent me into shock has left my soul with scars. I proudly wear these scars, because they scream things like "I made it!" "I healed!" and even "Is that all you've got?"
     Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to pull on heart strings or play the victim. I'm responsible for a BUNCH of these struggles. In some cases, I pretty much placed the obstacles directly on my path. What can I say? I learn the hard way. Sometimes I could kick myself for it but more than often, I wouldn't have it any other way.
     I've met so many people, felt so many different depths of emotion, and had to make so many positive alterations to my outlook on people and life that I can't even begin to count or list them. I don't think I would have experienced half of these things or made so many transformations if I hadn't done things the "hard way." There's something special about words of wisdom, but there's something irreplaceable about first hand knowledge and experience.


      I figured I'd list some of the words of wisdom from some people very dear to my heart that have held me accountable, and kept me motivated through my struggles the past few years.

This man to the left is the Kell to my Keenin, he's my brother and I'm his Ace. Our friendship was instantly formed after a late night trip to MacDonald's. We have each other's backs no matter what, no questions asked. Some things that he has said that have really kept me going and eased my mind have been the following....
"Yo, Ace, don't even worry about those girls. They're mistaking your kindness for weakness."
"You know whatever you decide, I have your back."
I truly consider him my brother. Unconditional love and support no matter what storm hits. He is a husband to an awesome lady, Karen, who I also immediately loved. I am super lucky he chose a woman who has welcomed our friendship with open arms. I am insanely thankful for God blessing him with a great woman, and me with a great friend. They have recently created the most precious and beautiful little angel I have ever seen, who I CANNOT wait to meet! (hint hint....come down here you two!)

This is Chelsea, I believe we met at a "Maracas" party, surprisingly enough. I think we had a 2 or 3 minute conversation before our kindred souls exchanged numbers. I couldn't pick a quote because this woman is too full of wisdom that it's hard to nail just one inspiration down. However, I will never forget the book she let me borrow, "Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of the Woman's Soul." She said, "I really think you'd get a lot out of this book." I haven't finished it yet (a year later), but it's my favorite book to find comfort and confidence in when I'm feeling down. Honestly this girl rocks and the way she lives and her smile alone is inspiration and motivation enough. Her pure heart and kindness truly radiate when she graces people with her smile....which fortunately for the rest of us is very often!

     Brittany Livingston, you flipping rock! This girl and I formed our friendship while both of us were dating the "Playas." We were both dating two of the most aggressive smooth talkers at AASU. Girls loved to make us uncomfortable and we found refuge in our mutual dislike for blatant bitchiness. We have maintained our friendship for going on three years now. Definitely another kindred spirit of mine, who can understand me at all times, through anything. I love her independent nature and she's kept me going by saying things like:
"You and I have a lot to offer, Helen. Don't settle for anyone who doesn't recognize that."
"We can do anything. We're so young!"
The display of courage she showed by moving to NY alone still amazes and inspires me. She dropped everything and moved, just because she could and had an urge. You go girl! You're as strong as you are stubborn and I hope you never ever change! Don't tolerate those mean girls, keep following your heart, and keep dancing on your journey.

Although I originally had a picture from our high school days (before we could legally drive), I figured I valued my life enough not to ask for a death wish. I felt this picture equally as appropriate considering is obviously shows our love for cheap beer and a laugh (something that bonded us even further later in life)! I think knowing that Devon would mutilate anyone who attacks me emotionally or physically is enough to lend me comfort. Knowing that a friend would charge at a small elephant (ask and you shall receive the story behind this), is all the comfort in the world I need when dealing with "bitches and hos." This is a friend since I was the young age of 8 and I don't see that fading anytime in the future. She's has a peaceful and quiet soul combined with a Joan of Ark ish strength and a love for a good time with good company and cold beer =)

This is Crystal. We are kind of in a tiff right now (kind of may be an understatement). However, it would be highly inappropriate for me to right about support and not include this feisty woman. Our personalities, which were obvious contrasts, surprisingly clung to each other dearly this summer and year. I think we shocked each other by forming such a strong bond and putting up with things that we wouldn't normally tolerate from the average Joe (good and bad). This is a girl who has overcome more than I could imagine. Her story gives me strength, her attitude keeps me straight, and her compassion shocks me. I couldn't begin to think of just one sentence to display how she has motivated me or supported me.

One cool Mama! This is Miss Rebecca Redko. Although we haven't hung out too much, every time we have hung out, there has been something comfortable and familiar. She's another woman I truly gain inspiration from just because she is who she is and lives her life the way she does. She's an independent and determined woman, and from what I've seen, an OUT OF THIS WORLD mother of a beautiful ray of sunshine. I will never forget the day she extended her hand freely to me (unknown to her, just when I needed some support). She said something along the lines of: "If you ever want to talk or anything let me know. I know we don't know each other that well but for some reason I care about you. Guess I just get good vibes." (excuse me for paraphrasing)

This is definitely my "make me smile" woman. We were absolute enemies after our first encounter or two. We had it out for each other. I guess after a while we figured "if you can't beat em join em." This may sound awful. I will never expect anyone to understand our friendship, but it's a friendship dear to my heart none the less. We are understanding and loyal and we hang out a lot. She's happy when things go good in my life and has taught me to celebrate every little accomplishment in life, even as small as making it through a workday. I have never met someone with such a beautiful zest for life. I'm proud to call her my partner in crime! May the good times keep rolling!

     This is a Spaniard who is very dear to my heart. We have been up and down and had one roller coaster ride of a relationship at times. Thankfully, at the end of it all we have always managed to make it back to a good place. (Okay, enough serious talk or he'll be mad at me). He may think my recent blogging is "goofy" (as he's mentions once or twice after every post) but I absolutely have to mention him in this one. He's been there through some of my biggest struggles. He gives me his opinion but takes me for who I am. I tend to sweat the small stuff too much and he's always there to help me sort through it and point out that things aren't that bad. He's constantly telling me "Okay Helen, what can you do to fix it." This always has a magic affect on me. It immediately forces me to take a breath and actually THINK before I react or get all in a tizzy. He keeps me positive and motivated. He is definitely one of the most genuine men I have ever met. I know once I say this he will NEVER let it go, but it amazes me that a man only 23 years old can teach me something new every day, from cooking tricks, to opening my eyes to a new way to view life. I'm super proud of him all the time. He's a great athlete, keeps up with his schoolwork, and manages to put up with ME...what more could a girl ask for? Did I mention he's pretty handsome too?

     She may kill me for posting a throwback from high school. However, just wanted to give us some props for making through four years at an all girls, private, catholic high school. This is one loyal girl who has managed to turn stressful situation after stressful situation around and push forward through life. She's an insanely loving mother of a beautiful baby girl. She seems to continue smiling through the rain which is what I love most about her. I think one of the most inspiring things she has said to me went something like the following.
     "I'm lucky to be where I am. It may not be perfect but I'm not complaining." This attitude definitely struck me. I now keep in mind where my life could have gone if I hadn't pushed through the low points. Looking at the stresses and struggles you have managed to avoid and patting yourself on the back for it is sometimes A LOT healthier than focusing on only the mistakes you have made.

Drop it low girl, drop it, drop it low

     Last night was one of those nights that is embarrassing now, but in 2 or 3 years I'll have a good laugh with my friend........Okay who am I kidding? Last night was hilarious and I know it! My friend, Natalia , texted me some excited news that triggered our whole celebratory evening. "I got the house =D". (that equals sign and capital d is the smiley that let me knew she was ready to party). I could not wait to get off work to congratulate my home owning friend.

     We popped a bottle of wine as we decided what to wear. Danced around the apartment, even had somewhat of a wrestling match over Natalia insisting to take a nap. A NAP? On HER night? No fear, I was there to rescue her from that dreadful idea. After shaking her, dumping her off the bed, and playing air guitar with her leg to the blaring song "I believe In a Thing Called Love" she finally agreed....a nap just was not an option. So we did what we had to do (in case you aren't aware, that means we popped another bottle of wine and called our cabby).

     Hooray! Our cab driver arrived. As we took one last look in the mirror I realized how much more functional Natalia's outfit was than mine. "Shoot, I should wear jeans if we're going to be dancing tonight, plus it's a Wednesday...Why am in a dress?" Natalia knew what that meant....ANOTHER wardrobe change. She decided to assist me, "Those white jeans looked really cute the other night....wear those and lets go!" I quickly changed, and out the door we went.

     We met our friend Jordan (a.k.a Jodie) at Jazz'd (the sweetest tapas bar in Savannah) and had ourselves a bloody mary. It's always a good time when the 3 Musketeers are hanging out.  We had some pretty entertaining conversations. We talked about how "BM" would not be an appropriate nickname to order a bloody mary with. I notified them that I had to go to the bathroom, they laughed and said "what else is new." We talked about how Jordan is leaving us to go throw poop at monkeys in Texas, etc. Basically it was just three friends shooting the shit (yes pun intended). In all the commotion Natalia knocked over her glass. I breathed a sigh of relief, that was a close call for my white jeans. Natalia and I naturally celebrated by handing Hagan (our fabulous bartender) her blackberry to take some photos of us.

     We were on our 5oth picture retake since Hagan, although a wonderful bartender, is an awful photographer. All of a sudden, Natalia lost her balance and spilled blooy mary on my white jeans! Well, actually on my friend Devon's white jeans....which was even worse! However, that wonderful bartender I mentioned before , quickly brought me some seltzer water that washed that Zing Zang right out. I breathed a sigh of relief. We decided that was enough close calls in Jazz'd and we wanted to go dance. Off to Seed we went.
     Let me tell you, the base was pumping! My favorite, Savannah DJ was controlling the atmosphere. His name is DJ Cesar and he really rocks! You can find him at Seed and Crypt most nights!  There was somewhat of a dance battle going on in the middle of the floor. These guys could really break dance. They were doing all sorts of flips and spins. So OBVIOUSLY, I decided to battle.
     I cleared the circle, smiled, tilted my head to one shoulder then the next to loosen up a little and went in for the kill. A perfect handstand! Yes! I even did some walking and a dramatic twist on one hand to land in a cute pose seated gracefully on the floor one knee up and one leg (with a pointed toe) stretched in front. So it wasn't break dancing and I looked like a massive dork, but I got  some major props. One guy even took me aside and tried to teach me a few tricks.
     I finally left the battling to the professionals and went back to dancing with my friends. Natalia and I were really shaking our bootys off, afterall, this was a CELEBRATION. The song "Drop It Low" by Easter Dean ft. Chris Brown came on. Our hearts pumped faster, our hands reached to the ceiling and we let out a big "woooooo i love this song," which is the natural response at every song change. Something in that song inspired me....I told my self I was really going to drop it low. Please play it below so that you can experience the power of this song as you read over the following events.

ester dean drop it low remix feat. lil wayne chris brown trey songz and diddy

     I got my sexiest face on and jokingly gave my friend the "come hither finger" (come hither finger= when you extend your arm, palm facing up, make a fist, then extend your pointer finger and curl it up slowly a few times). Alright this was it...I was determined to give it my all. I dropped it low...success!!! As I stood back up, I got cocky. I was going to do it again, this time adding a few bounces. The first two bounces were executed perfectly, and I guess I decided I liked it down there. As I took my last bounce I heard a rip, even over all the music. I quickly stood up, squeezed my cheeks and turned my fanny to the wall. I turned to Natalia and our conversation and sights played out as follows:

H: "Oh my goodness...i just dropped it low"
N: " Yeah i saw, get it girl! woooo..!"


H: "No, no, no, Nataliaaaa.....I ripped my pants!"


N: "Bahahaha..."


H: "Is it bad?"

N: "bahahahahahahahahahahaha......."

H: "What are you laughing at? Now you have to rip yours."

N: What? Why?

H: "Nataliaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......iiiiit'll be fuuuuny.." (said in my most convincing voice)
 
     I won't go into details  but this conversation ended with a split and Natalia ripping both of her pants legs straight down the center of her upper thighs to her ankles. We continued to dance the night away (p.s. the bar was dark and you couldn't see my butt as long as I stayed standing). Needless to say, I kept to the fist pumping the rest of the night.